Ok, I've known this for a while but I didn't want to share it until Ben told his work that he is leaving, but he is coming to Singapore in December!! YAY!
We are working things out and he found a course at the National University of Singapore in Chinese Language so he will be here for at least three months. I'm super excited about it and looking forward to us being able to be together at least for a little while. He has said he will go to zumba classes with me and I've said I will learn how to lift weights with him.
So, today is not only my last day in Singapore for about a month, it is also my last day alone in Singapore for a while.
I'm getting super excited about my trip, I leave tomorrow and will be in London so soon! I will also be flying through Dubai which will be really interesting for me. I promise to take lots of pictures.
My drama students are performing The Lorax today, and I'm hoping to film it or at least take some pictures and I will post those when I can too.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Travellin'
Hello all!
I'm sorry it's been so long since my last missive, I fear that my life is somewhat boring and I find there's not much new to post. The smells, sights, and sounds of Singapore have become home to me in a lot of ways, so it doesn't all seem so novel and silly anymore.
Aside from every now and then someone still mentions something that shocks me. For instance, I asked why all the stray cats don't seem to have tails. I wondered if there was some sort of anomaly or if they tend to fight and get them pulled off or something. Apparently, the Chinese believe that it is good luck for a cat to not have a tail. So, to pump up the luck, they tie rubber bands around the tails of kittens, especially boy ones so that they fall off.
Also, it seems the cool place to hang out is the airport. I shit you not. The best place to go shopping, take someone on a date, or just go to eat at 3 am cause it's 24 hours is Changi Airport. Singaporeans love it. Students go there to study, aunties go to shop, and everyone goes to eat. Who'da thunk it?
Anyhow, I am leaving the island this Saturday for London. I am going to stay with my friend Iain's son for a few days, then go to Dorset and see him and then meet up with my Dad and Marilyn up in Yorkshire. Then we are flying back together to Toronto and I'll be back in Canada for about three weeks.
I will be sure to post pictures of my trips, I'm sure that the differences between home and here will become all the more apparent when I go back. I can tell you I'm not looking forward to the cold, but I am looking forward to seeing my loved ones again. Oh, and eating poutine. I can't stress that one enough.
Ben sent me a care package with a little music box that plays Oh Canada and I almost started crying. It made me realize how much I miss our crazy country.
I'm sorry it's been so long since my last missive, I fear that my life is somewhat boring and I find there's not much new to post. The smells, sights, and sounds of Singapore have become home to me in a lot of ways, so it doesn't all seem so novel and silly anymore.
Aside from every now and then someone still mentions something that shocks me. For instance, I asked why all the stray cats don't seem to have tails. I wondered if there was some sort of anomaly or if they tend to fight and get them pulled off or something. Apparently, the Chinese believe that it is good luck for a cat to not have a tail. So, to pump up the luck, they tie rubber bands around the tails of kittens, especially boy ones so that they fall off.
Also, it seems the cool place to hang out is the airport. I shit you not. The best place to go shopping, take someone on a date, or just go to eat at 3 am cause it's 24 hours is Changi Airport. Singaporeans love it. Students go there to study, aunties go to shop, and everyone goes to eat. Who'da thunk it?
Anyhow, I am leaving the island this Saturday for London. I am going to stay with my friend Iain's son for a few days, then go to Dorset and see him and then meet up with my Dad and Marilyn up in Yorkshire. Then we are flying back together to Toronto and I'll be back in Canada for about three weeks.
I will be sure to post pictures of my trips, I'm sure that the differences between home and here will become all the more apparent when I go back. I can tell you I'm not looking forward to the cold, but I am looking forward to seeing my loved ones again. Oh, and eating poutine. I can't stress that one enough.
Ben sent me a care package with a little music box that plays Oh Canada and I almost started crying. It made me realize how much I miss our crazy country.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
A White Person's Guide to Living in Asia (Or Probably Places Where White People Aren't the Majority)
1. Get lost.
Don't be afraid of being lost and not knowing where you are. You are going to get lost a lot. This doesn't have the be scary. Accept that you probably don't know where the hell you are a lot of the time when you first get here and get used to the feeling. You'll find you get damn good at not knowing where you are. This is the first step in figuring it out.
2. Not all White People are like you.
So stop giving them desperation eyes when you see them. The first few months you are here you will feel like everyone is staring at you and your ghostly white skin. They probably are. Not because you're different, but because you are staring at all of them like they are about to bite you. And wandering around looking lost and terrified. And you're also probably going the wrong way down the road, or up the escalator, or doing something else that is completely bizzare. It's ok. And when you see those other white people, they're probably German. Or French. They might not even speak English. They're just as different from you as the different colored people around you. It will be ok.
3. Watch people
Start watching what other people do. Not in a creepy, I want to eat you way, but in a casual, I need to figure out what the right way of doing things is way. You'll start to notice how they get on the escalator, what you should do on the MRT, where the good places to eat are (they're probably full and there's probably a queue)
4. Be willing to learn new words and use them
If you're pig headed and refuse to call it a lift, or a plaster, no one is going to know what the hell you are asking them. Adopt the language of where you are and people will understand you. Use your inference skills when someone says something to you and you have no idea what they mean. You'll find you can usually figure it out. Learn a few words of the language (thank you is a good one to know) so that you can make an effort. People will seriously appreciate it.
5. Accept that you are not here to change things
It's not your damn job. And by the way, if whitey knew what he was doing so well, don't you think there would be a job for you where you came from? No, this system isn't perfect. And it's got a lot of things that might freak you out or scare you, or that you just don't believe in. It's not your job to have an opinion. (I know, that's hard for us in the West to accept). You're here to learn the culture and work within this framework. That's what they are paying you for. People will ask you what you think of it here. Be honest but also positive. How would you feel if a Singaporean came to your country and told you it was crap? Oh, and compliment their food. They really like that. If you eat curry, you're in.
6. People are people.
For the first few months, everyone is going to look like a Chinese person, or a Malay person, until you start to realize that they are just people. The human mind likes to sort things into categories so that you can understand it better. You're not a racist. Eventually, you will just start to see people as people and stop seeing their race first. It takes some time, but you'll get there.
7. Ask questions.
People like to tell you about their culture. They are the dominant people here. You have to reprogram yourself and stop treating Asians like they are minorities that you have to be extra careful not to offend. You're the minority now sister, and asking questions like "Why are you guys lighting stuff on fire?" will lead to cool converstaions where they will happily explain the festival of the dead to you. Ask questions with the humble understanding that this is their place, and you are the visitor. You'll learn some cool things.
8. Have a sense of humor (preferably the Canadian self-deprecating one)
People will ask you weird questions. "Are you a full time or part time vegetarian?" "Why are your eyes so big?" These aren't meant to be funny or weird, answer them. (Your eyes aren't bigger, your eyelids are just a funny shape compared to Asian people) Laugh about things. Make fun of yourself. Invite kids to touch your hair if they are staring at it. There aren't a lot of times you get the chance to be the minority, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you are talking to someone back home who comes from a different place, well, that's how people probably feel about you now. You can be an asshole about it, or you can laugh about it and invite them to ask questions about your pointy nose. It's all a great way to talk about race.
9.. Try new things
If you wanted to stay home and eat poutine, you would have. When people offer you their strange foods, try them. Some of them will be godawful (dried fish is one I simply can't handle) but sometimes you're going to find some seriously delicious things. People share their culture and their love through their food. If you're an asshole who won't try anything you are refusing to share in another person's culture. And isn't that why you came here in the first place?
10. Challenge yourself
If you suck at using chopsticks, keep trying. People will respect you for trying and before you know it, you're going to be a badass at it. If someone invites you to an activity you've never done, go for it. You're here, you're young, and you only live once. If you deny yourself the chance to explore this experience then you've wasted a whole lot of money and energy getting yourself to the other side of the world.
11. Trust it all
Pretty soon, you're going to feel more at ease. The terrified, lonely, mixed around feeling will go away and you will see that you are more than able to navigate this place. It's full of new things, strange things, funny things, tasty things and you are going to be a bigger, better, cooler person for having done this. Push away the negative feelings, bring in the positive ones, accept that you know nothing at all and go for it. You'll find your way.
12. Talk about race
A student in my grade 10 class in Canada taught me this lesson. When we refuse to talk about something, or to make fun of it, we give it the power of being untouchable. More than anything that gives us the cue that there is something really bad about it. Kids will ask you questions about race. They will ask you what you think they look like, or say derogatory things about their own race. Have these conversations. If you don't talk about it, you show them that you're chickenshit first of all, and that you think something is wrong with race . You're different, but you're certainly not better. Neither are they. We're all just different. Kids want to compare how your nose is shaped or how their eyes are shaped, and in the West you wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Here, go for it. That's one of the reasons it's cool to meet people from different places, the different things are what is interesting. And maybe, now that you know how it feels to be different, when you go back you'll continue to have these conversations with the kids who are different there. Maybe you can show them that being different is cool and that you're not afraid to talk about it because there's nothing wrong with it in the first place.
Don't be afraid of being lost and not knowing where you are. You are going to get lost a lot. This doesn't have the be scary. Accept that you probably don't know where the hell you are a lot of the time when you first get here and get used to the feeling. You'll find you get damn good at not knowing where you are. This is the first step in figuring it out.
2. Not all White People are like you.
So stop giving them desperation eyes when you see them. The first few months you are here you will feel like everyone is staring at you and your ghostly white skin. They probably are. Not because you're different, but because you are staring at all of them like they are about to bite you. And wandering around looking lost and terrified. And you're also probably going the wrong way down the road, or up the escalator, or doing something else that is completely bizzare. It's ok. And when you see those other white people, they're probably German. Or French. They might not even speak English. They're just as different from you as the different colored people around you. It will be ok.
3. Watch people
Start watching what other people do. Not in a creepy, I want to eat you way, but in a casual, I need to figure out what the right way of doing things is way. You'll start to notice how they get on the escalator, what you should do on the MRT, where the good places to eat are (they're probably full and there's probably a queue)
4. Be willing to learn new words and use them
If you're pig headed and refuse to call it a lift, or a plaster, no one is going to know what the hell you are asking them. Adopt the language of where you are and people will understand you. Use your inference skills when someone says something to you and you have no idea what they mean. You'll find you can usually figure it out. Learn a few words of the language (thank you is a good one to know) so that you can make an effort. People will seriously appreciate it.
5. Accept that you are not here to change things
It's not your damn job. And by the way, if whitey knew what he was doing so well, don't you think there would be a job for you where you came from? No, this system isn't perfect. And it's got a lot of things that might freak you out or scare you, or that you just don't believe in. It's not your job to have an opinion. (I know, that's hard for us in the West to accept). You're here to learn the culture and work within this framework. That's what they are paying you for. People will ask you what you think of it here. Be honest but also positive. How would you feel if a Singaporean came to your country and told you it was crap? Oh, and compliment their food. They really like that. If you eat curry, you're in.
6. People are people.
For the first few months, everyone is going to look like a Chinese person, or a Malay person, until you start to realize that they are just people. The human mind likes to sort things into categories so that you can understand it better. You're not a racist. Eventually, you will just start to see people as people and stop seeing their race first. It takes some time, but you'll get there.
7. Ask questions.
People like to tell you about their culture. They are the dominant people here. You have to reprogram yourself and stop treating Asians like they are minorities that you have to be extra careful not to offend. You're the minority now sister, and asking questions like "Why are you guys lighting stuff on fire?" will lead to cool converstaions where they will happily explain the festival of the dead to you. Ask questions with the humble understanding that this is their place, and you are the visitor. You'll learn some cool things.
8. Have a sense of humor (preferably the Canadian self-deprecating one)
People will ask you weird questions. "Are you a full time or part time vegetarian?" "Why are your eyes so big?" These aren't meant to be funny or weird, answer them. (Your eyes aren't bigger, your eyelids are just a funny shape compared to Asian people) Laugh about things. Make fun of yourself. Invite kids to touch your hair if they are staring at it. There aren't a lot of times you get the chance to be the minority, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you are talking to someone back home who comes from a different place, well, that's how people probably feel about you now. You can be an asshole about it, or you can laugh about it and invite them to ask questions about your pointy nose. It's all a great way to talk about race.
9.. Try new things
If you wanted to stay home and eat poutine, you would have. When people offer you their strange foods, try them. Some of them will be godawful (dried fish is one I simply can't handle) but sometimes you're going to find some seriously delicious things. People share their culture and their love through their food. If you're an asshole who won't try anything you are refusing to share in another person's culture. And isn't that why you came here in the first place?
10. Challenge yourself
If you suck at using chopsticks, keep trying. People will respect you for trying and before you know it, you're going to be a badass at it. If someone invites you to an activity you've never done, go for it. You're here, you're young, and you only live once. If you deny yourself the chance to explore this experience then you've wasted a whole lot of money and energy getting yourself to the other side of the world.
11. Trust it all
Pretty soon, you're going to feel more at ease. The terrified, lonely, mixed around feeling will go away and you will see that you are more than able to navigate this place. It's full of new things, strange things, funny things, tasty things and you are going to be a bigger, better, cooler person for having done this. Push away the negative feelings, bring in the positive ones, accept that you know nothing at all and go for it. You'll find your way.
12. Talk about race
A student in my grade 10 class in Canada taught me this lesson. When we refuse to talk about something, or to make fun of it, we give it the power of being untouchable. More than anything that gives us the cue that there is something really bad about it. Kids will ask you questions about race. They will ask you what you think they look like, or say derogatory things about their own race. Have these conversations. If you don't talk about it, you show them that you're chickenshit first of all, and that you think something is wrong with race . You're different, but you're certainly not better. Neither are they. We're all just different. Kids want to compare how your nose is shaped or how their eyes are shaped, and in the West you wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Here, go for it. That's one of the reasons it's cool to meet people from different places, the different things are what is interesting. And maybe, now that you know how it feels to be different, when you go back you'll continue to have these conversations with the kids who are different there. Maybe you can show them that being different is cool and that you're not afraid to talk about it because there's nothing wrong with it in the first place.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Canadian Thanksgiving!
This weekend I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner without real adults around (aka, I have to be the real adults now which is not as scary as it used to be).
The moment I saw my friend Kyla's incredible flat I said we needed to host a dinner party and make use of her fantastic kitchen and so we planned to make a Thanksgiving dinner for all of us Canadians living abroad.
There were a number of obstacles in this endeavor, one being that we are living in Asia where it is either incredibly hard to find certain Western foods, or incredibly expensive when you do. These were small matters for us intrepid Canadians.
One guy living here who did his university degree in Canada actually contacted the Canadian Singapore Association, which I frankly had no idea even existed to ask where we could find a turkey. Kyla and I wandered around Singapore going into every Cold Storage and calling the ones we weren't close to trying to locate a turkey. I think we had the same conversation about 10 times:
"Hi, do you carry turkey?"
"Wha?"
"You know turkey. Gobble gobble? *arm flapping*"
"Ah! Turkey ah? No."
However, finally we found one. She was only 12lbs which then scared us because our modest guest list quickly became about 30 people and we began to worry that there wouldn't be enough turkey to go around. This didn't stop us from taking the turkey once we bought it with us to Boat Quay to chill at the Prince of Wales for a little bit. We thought we'd show her around before her inevitable demise.
And so we decided to compensate with making a lot of side dishes in the hopes that that would make sure that there was enough food to go around. We started Friday night, with my preparing my Dad's ceaser salad recipe (which I may say turned out perfectly) and Kyla preparing some life changingly good butter tarts.
Kam, a pilot from Toronto, brought over three boxes of stuffing that he had bought when he was back home earlier in the month and we realized we only needed to cook the turkey for about 4 hours. We were expecting it to be an ordeal.
The next day we got up and finished defrosting the turkey in poor Matt's bathtub, which he arrived home to after two weeks in Australia and the 8 hour flight from hell to find me in the bathroom of his bedroom trying to find a way to tie the turkey onto the handle in the bathtub so that it wouldn't be submerged. Poor guy.
The rest of the day (aside from a break to go to zumba while the turkey was in the oven) was spent preparing stuffing, potatoes, veggies (I didn't touch them) lettuce for the salad, gravy, apple crisp, maccaroni salad, and all manner of delicious Canadian ish foods.
When everyone arrived it was a great night with everyone saying how good the food was, me being proud we didn't poison anyone and also manage to feed two vegetarians, one with a gluten allergy and all getting to meet new people. With a professional magician that Kyla knows thrown in for good measure.
All in all, I am very proud of our dinner and I am looking so forward to moving into a new flat in November that has a kitchen that I will actually be able to use so that I can start making food for myself like my own salads and butter tarts, haha!
The moment I saw my friend Kyla's incredible flat I said we needed to host a dinner party and make use of her fantastic kitchen and so we planned to make a Thanksgiving dinner for all of us Canadians living abroad.
There were a number of obstacles in this endeavor, one being that we are living in Asia where it is either incredibly hard to find certain Western foods, or incredibly expensive when you do. These were small matters for us intrepid Canadians.
One guy living here who did his university degree in Canada actually contacted the Canadian Singapore Association, which I frankly had no idea even existed to ask where we could find a turkey. Kyla and I wandered around Singapore going into every Cold Storage and calling the ones we weren't close to trying to locate a turkey. I think we had the same conversation about 10 times:
"Hi, do you carry turkey?"
"Wha?"
"You know turkey. Gobble gobble? *arm flapping*"
"Ah! Turkey ah? No."
However, finally we found one. She was only 12lbs which then scared us because our modest guest list quickly became about 30 people and we began to worry that there wouldn't be enough turkey to go around. This didn't stop us from taking the turkey once we bought it with us to Boat Quay to chill at the Prince of Wales for a little bit. We thought we'd show her around before her inevitable demise.
And so we decided to compensate with making a lot of side dishes in the hopes that that would make sure that there was enough food to go around. We started Friday night, with my preparing my Dad's ceaser salad recipe (which I may say turned out perfectly) and Kyla preparing some life changingly good butter tarts.
Kam, a pilot from Toronto, brought over three boxes of stuffing that he had bought when he was back home earlier in the month and we realized we only needed to cook the turkey for about 4 hours. We were expecting it to be an ordeal.
The next day we got up and finished defrosting the turkey in poor Matt's bathtub, which he arrived home to after two weeks in Australia and the 8 hour flight from hell to find me in the bathroom of his bedroom trying to find a way to tie the turkey onto the handle in the bathtub so that it wouldn't be submerged. Poor guy.
The rest of the day (aside from a break to go to zumba while the turkey was in the oven) was spent preparing stuffing, potatoes, veggies (I didn't touch them) lettuce for the salad, gravy, apple crisp, maccaroni salad, and all manner of delicious Canadian ish foods.
When everyone arrived it was a great night with everyone saying how good the food was, me being proud we didn't poison anyone and also manage to feed two vegetarians, one with a gluten allergy and all getting to meet new people. With a professional magician that Kyla knows thrown in for good measure.
All in all, I am very proud of our dinner and I am looking so forward to moving into a new flat in November that has a kitchen that I will actually be able to use so that I can start making food for myself like my own salads and butter tarts, haha!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Zumba!
I realize I haven't written on here in a while and I think that's probably because I'm not doing new things really so I don't think there's a lot to write about. My weeks are filled up with zumba class, usually three times a week, working, and on the weekends trying to see my friends and make new ones at various ex pat parties.
Iain is leaving Singapore this week which is going to be sad for me. We are an unlikely pair, he being in his mid-fifties and me being in my twenties. However, he's turned out to be the best friend I've had here. Having lived for so long in Hong Kong he always knows how I'm feeling when I talk about home and we always ask after each other's families. When I go to the UK in November and actually meet them it will be strange because they feel like they are my family already.
My Sunday afternoons won't be the same without meeting up in Little India and wandering around the mall. And I don't know who will be here to encourage me to go shopping and get my hair done and go tanning.
This coming weekend I am planning to cook my first Thanksgiving Turkey dinner with my friend Kyla for a group of our expat friends. I am looking forward to having some turkey dinner and to share the event with my new international friends. We have Austrians, Canadians, Americans, Mauritians, Brits, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Croatians and Kiwis coming. Possibly more that I don't remember. It will be an interesting evening I'm sure.
Right now my eye is on my trip to the UK and my trip back home for a few weeks. My good friend Christina is getting married on Friday and it's really sad for me that I can't be there with her, I was supposed to be her maid of honor and missing that important day for her is really sad for me.
In other news, I have found a new flat that I am hoping to move into in early November with an American teacher who just started at my school and his wife and a Canadian teacher that they share with. I'm really looking forward to living with people my own age and to having more of a collective space instead of feeling like I'm in someone else's house.
That will be exciting and I will post pictures of it when I am settled in. In the meantime, I am going to direct you to this video of a zumba class. But, imagine it with Singaporeans speaking Singlish and some very interesting Asian fashion choices and you will see what I do with myself three nights a week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlRPHHKJt7Q&feature=related
Iain is leaving Singapore this week which is going to be sad for me. We are an unlikely pair, he being in his mid-fifties and me being in my twenties. However, he's turned out to be the best friend I've had here. Having lived for so long in Hong Kong he always knows how I'm feeling when I talk about home and we always ask after each other's families. When I go to the UK in November and actually meet them it will be strange because they feel like they are my family already.
My Sunday afternoons won't be the same without meeting up in Little India and wandering around the mall. And I don't know who will be here to encourage me to go shopping and get my hair done and go tanning.
This coming weekend I am planning to cook my first Thanksgiving Turkey dinner with my friend Kyla for a group of our expat friends. I am looking forward to having some turkey dinner and to share the event with my new international friends. We have Austrians, Canadians, Americans, Mauritians, Brits, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Croatians and Kiwis coming. Possibly more that I don't remember. It will be an interesting evening I'm sure.
Right now my eye is on my trip to the UK and my trip back home for a few weeks. My good friend Christina is getting married on Friday and it's really sad for me that I can't be there with her, I was supposed to be her maid of honor and missing that important day for her is really sad for me.
In other news, I have found a new flat that I am hoping to move into in early November with an American teacher who just started at my school and his wife and a Canadian teacher that they share with. I'm really looking forward to living with people my own age and to having more of a collective space instead of feeling like I'm in someone else's house.
That will be exciting and I will post pictures of it when I am settled in. In the meantime, I am going to direct you to this video of a zumba class. But, imagine it with Singaporeans speaking Singlish and some very interesting Asian fashion choices and you will see what I do with myself three nights a week.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlRPHHKJt7Q&feature=related
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
S.K. Jolley
That's the name that appeared on the blue envelopes that arrived for me every few months when I was a little girl. There's a special joy in receiving mail, even now as an adult I get a little thrill when I see a personalized envelope mixed in with all the bills. What was even more special was that these blue envelopes came to me all the way from England.
It might have been the Spice Girls, or a desire to find my individual culture and heritage, but I was an Anglophile through and through and the stamps bearing the Queen's cameo always struck a chord. What was more important than the content of these letters was what they represented: a connection to my Grandmother.
My Grandmother is a woman that I knew very little of, and yet, found a way to know a lot. She lived so far away and I was only able to visit her twice in the time that I was old enough for it to be remembered, but through our letters back and forth over many years I was able to get to know her.
She was a reader. A voracious one. She liked plays, and novels and she liked to watch her stories. She was someone intensely interested in the world around her and what the people in it were doing with it. She was intellectually very acute and I suspect she knew more than many people gave her credit for in her long years. Being a woman in her time may not have always been easy for someone with her intellectual fortitude but I suspect it was that fortitude that allowed her to draw such strength.
I still remember the last letter she sent to me before she suffered a debilitating stroke that left her paralyzed on one side and incapable of returning my letters. The tone was markedly different from her usual letters. She usually liked to commiserate with me about the tedious nature of housework, or encourage me to read a new novel she was particularly enjoying, or to inquire about what plays we were putting on that month at the theatre where I worked. This letter had the ring of a goodbye. It spoke more generally about the lessons to draw out of life and the things to keep my focus on. My grandma was no fool and I think she knew that stroke was coming for her.
Remarkably, she survived it and managed to carry on. (She was English after all). She went on to stay in a lovely nursing home where I was able to visit her two years ago over Christmas with my Dad and Marilyn. Though she could no longer write to me, I continued to send her letters and share my life with her. I admit that they were not as frequent as I think she deserved but I do know that she liked getting them and I liked writing them.
My last letter, sent last week and express posted had that same change in tone I suspect as the one that she sent me before her stroke. I spoke of how much she had taught me and how valuable she was to me. I don't know if she got that last letter but this time, I knew that it was coming to an end.
My trip to England in November will now be so that we can scatter her ashes. Though she is gone, I am still very grateful that I was able to have such a relationship with my grandmother, all the way on the other side of the ocean who showed me what strength and dignity can look like and that there is a root inside me that I can trace back to answer the question of why I've always loved to read.
Rest in Peace.
It might have been the Spice Girls, or a desire to find my individual culture and heritage, but I was an Anglophile through and through and the stamps bearing the Queen's cameo always struck a chord. What was more important than the content of these letters was what they represented: a connection to my Grandmother.
My Grandmother is a woman that I knew very little of, and yet, found a way to know a lot. She lived so far away and I was only able to visit her twice in the time that I was old enough for it to be remembered, but through our letters back and forth over many years I was able to get to know her.
She was a reader. A voracious one. She liked plays, and novels and she liked to watch her stories. She was someone intensely interested in the world around her and what the people in it were doing with it. She was intellectually very acute and I suspect she knew more than many people gave her credit for in her long years. Being a woman in her time may not have always been easy for someone with her intellectual fortitude but I suspect it was that fortitude that allowed her to draw such strength.
I still remember the last letter she sent to me before she suffered a debilitating stroke that left her paralyzed on one side and incapable of returning my letters. The tone was markedly different from her usual letters. She usually liked to commiserate with me about the tedious nature of housework, or encourage me to read a new novel she was particularly enjoying, or to inquire about what plays we were putting on that month at the theatre where I worked. This letter had the ring of a goodbye. It spoke more generally about the lessons to draw out of life and the things to keep my focus on. My grandma was no fool and I think she knew that stroke was coming for her.
Remarkably, she survived it and managed to carry on. (She was English after all). She went on to stay in a lovely nursing home where I was able to visit her two years ago over Christmas with my Dad and Marilyn. Though she could no longer write to me, I continued to send her letters and share my life with her. I admit that they were not as frequent as I think she deserved but I do know that she liked getting them and I liked writing them.
My last letter, sent last week and express posted had that same change in tone I suspect as the one that she sent me before her stroke. I spoke of how much she had taught me and how valuable she was to me. I don't know if she got that last letter but this time, I knew that it was coming to an end.
My trip to England in November will now be so that we can scatter her ashes. Though she is gone, I am still very grateful that I was able to have such a relationship with my grandmother, all the way on the other side of the ocean who showed me what strength and dignity can look like and that there is a root inside me that I can trace back to answer the question of why I've always loved to read.
Rest in Peace.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Hong Kong!
I am finally back in Singapore after 10 days in Hong Kong. I have lots to write about so I'm going to go chronologically because it's the easiest to sort out in my own mind.
http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Bea%20and%20Iain%20do%20Hong%20Kong/
My last two weeks have been vacation-y with a number of holidays here in Singapore with the Presidential Election and Hari Raya. As you know, I've been dealing with a rather confusing and complicated break up so I really needed this time to sort myself out and get my head around what's happened and changed for me.
I spent lots of time with my friends and Iain's solution to a broken heart is to spend as much time in the sun and swimming as possible because how can you be sad if you are sunbathing. The answer is that you can, but it's a lot better than being sad locked up in your room.
Singapore has a holiday called "Teacher's Day" which is a really cool day for the students to give thanks to their teachers and shower us with presents and gifts. I will say that Singapore teachers are some of the hardest working people I've seen and they really deserve it. Many spend 12 hours a day at school and often weekends too to put on CCA programs, exam preparations and to cope with the astronomical teaching load we all face. If any group of professionals deserved a day, it's Singaporean teachers. It was really touching to have students giving me cards and presents and saying thank you for what I've done. It being my first year as a teacher and being in a foreign context I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm behind everyone else and trying to tread water and keep from drowning. I know I'm no where near an awesome teacher yet so it was encouraging to hear from students that they appreciate the work that I do.
Then it was off to Hong Kong with my good friend Iain. Now, in the interest of clarity, I will explain who Iain is and why we are friends. He is slightly younger than my Dad and from the UK, as my Dad is and so in a lot of ways he reminds me of my Dad. I'm in between his daughter and his son's ages so I think for both of us we are like family when we are away from home. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot and people either think he's my Dad or I'm his concubine, but neither is the truth.
We spent the week with Iain's friend Ricky in Sai Kung which is outside of Kowloon. I will tell you that the side of Hong Kong that I saw was not the one I thought I would see. I was expecting bright city lights, tall buildings and fast paced Asian culture, but I found myself in a picturesque fishing "village" which was more like village meets city. They had a Starbucks, but they also had little junk boats that ferried people to the neighboring islands and beaches.
Iain and I continued our sun and swim therapy for my broken heart and ended up becoming very very tanned. We made it our goal to become racially ambiguous and hope that people will mistake us for African.
I managed to get some really great shopping done and found amazing deals and cool new clothes. I'm really pleased with the clothes I got and some are for work, some are for bumming around on weekends but all of them make me feel really good and comfortable.
Some notable places that I went were the Lady's Market and Flower Market, Dim Sum breakfasts, Trio Bay beach, Central up the escalator and Kowloon for shopping. I have posted pictures and videos up to my photobucket, I haven't watched the videos yet but I tried to take some of driving at night and being on the boat to the beach so it will be interesting to see how they turned out.
Hong Kong felt much more like China to me, with the lush green hills in the background and the style of houses it just seemed more like what I imagine China looks like (not surprising, considering it kind of is China...) and Cantonese was spoken much more than Mandarin so I went through the confused Chinese brain thing all over again, having just wrapped my head around Mandarin and Singlish.
This being my first real trip out of Singapore I got a little more perspective on what it's like back here. I realised just how accessible things seem here, I know at any time of night or day that I can get from one place to another and I know how to do it or how to find out how. Things feel more safe but at the same time more contained and in a way sanitised. Singapore seems to me much more like a fish bowl but at the same time much more culturally diverse and full of rich flavours and languages as well as it's own special brand of all of it mixed into one. I also realised this morning when I was woken at my friend's flat by a marching band practicing at a youth arts centre near their place that I feel more like I am in tune with the vibrance and life here on the island. I don't always know what's going on but there's more of a sense of harmony and a common moving towards something. I don't know if that really explains it, but it has certainly been an interesting experience.
It was wonderful to be travelling and relaxing and it's been really nice to come back and have friends waiting for me to step off the plane and go out dancing. Last night we went to an amazing bar called 1 Altitude which is on the 70th floor of a building in Raffles where you can see a panorama of the entire island. It was breathtaking, beautiful and the most fun I've had in a while, just dancing with my friends and feeling confident and beautiful and independent and free. It's been a rough go lately but I do feel that I'm coming out the other side only slightly the worse for wear.
Also: life just feels better when you go through it with a golden tan. ;)
http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Bea%20and%20Iain%20do%20Hong%20Kong/
My last two weeks have been vacation-y with a number of holidays here in Singapore with the Presidential Election and Hari Raya. As you know, I've been dealing with a rather confusing and complicated break up so I really needed this time to sort myself out and get my head around what's happened and changed for me.
I spent lots of time with my friends and Iain's solution to a broken heart is to spend as much time in the sun and swimming as possible because how can you be sad if you are sunbathing. The answer is that you can, but it's a lot better than being sad locked up in your room.
Singapore has a holiday called "Teacher's Day" which is a really cool day for the students to give thanks to their teachers and shower us with presents and gifts. I will say that Singapore teachers are some of the hardest working people I've seen and they really deserve it. Many spend 12 hours a day at school and often weekends too to put on CCA programs, exam preparations and to cope with the astronomical teaching load we all face. If any group of professionals deserved a day, it's Singaporean teachers. It was really touching to have students giving me cards and presents and saying thank you for what I've done. It being my first year as a teacher and being in a foreign context I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm behind everyone else and trying to tread water and keep from drowning. I know I'm no where near an awesome teacher yet so it was encouraging to hear from students that they appreciate the work that I do.
Then it was off to Hong Kong with my good friend Iain. Now, in the interest of clarity, I will explain who Iain is and why we are friends. He is slightly younger than my Dad and from the UK, as my Dad is and so in a lot of ways he reminds me of my Dad. I'm in between his daughter and his son's ages so I think for both of us we are like family when we are away from home. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot and people either think he's my Dad or I'm his concubine, but neither is the truth.
We spent the week with Iain's friend Ricky in Sai Kung which is outside of Kowloon. I will tell you that the side of Hong Kong that I saw was not the one I thought I would see. I was expecting bright city lights, tall buildings and fast paced Asian culture, but I found myself in a picturesque fishing "village" which was more like village meets city. They had a Starbucks, but they also had little junk boats that ferried people to the neighboring islands and beaches.
Iain and I continued our sun and swim therapy for my broken heart and ended up becoming very very tanned. We made it our goal to become racially ambiguous and hope that people will mistake us for African.
I managed to get some really great shopping done and found amazing deals and cool new clothes. I'm really pleased with the clothes I got and some are for work, some are for bumming around on weekends but all of them make me feel really good and comfortable.
Some notable places that I went were the Lady's Market and Flower Market, Dim Sum breakfasts, Trio Bay beach, Central up the escalator and Kowloon for shopping. I have posted pictures and videos up to my photobucket, I haven't watched the videos yet but I tried to take some of driving at night and being on the boat to the beach so it will be interesting to see how they turned out.
Hong Kong felt much more like China to me, with the lush green hills in the background and the style of houses it just seemed more like what I imagine China looks like (not surprising, considering it kind of is China...) and Cantonese was spoken much more than Mandarin so I went through the confused Chinese brain thing all over again, having just wrapped my head around Mandarin and Singlish.
This being my first real trip out of Singapore I got a little more perspective on what it's like back here. I realised just how accessible things seem here, I know at any time of night or day that I can get from one place to another and I know how to do it or how to find out how. Things feel more safe but at the same time more contained and in a way sanitised. Singapore seems to me much more like a fish bowl but at the same time much more culturally diverse and full of rich flavours and languages as well as it's own special brand of all of it mixed into one. I also realised this morning when I was woken at my friend's flat by a marching band practicing at a youth arts centre near their place that I feel more like I am in tune with the vibrance and life here on the island. I don't always know what's going on but there's more of a sense of harmony and a common moving towards something. I don't know if that really explains it, but it has certainly been an interesting experience.
It was wonderful to be travelling and relaxing and it's been really nice to come back and have friends waiting for me to step off the plane and go out dancing. Last night we went to an amazing bar called 1 Altitude which is on the 70th floor of a building in Raffles where you can see a panorama of the entire island. It was breathtaking, beautiful and the most fun I've had in a while, just dancing with my friends and feeling confident and beautiful and independent and free. It's been a rough go lately but I do feel that I'm coming out the other side only slightly the worse for wear.
Also: life just feels better when you go through it with a golden tan. ;)
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