A White Person's Guide to Living in Asia (Or Probably Places Where White People Aren't the Majority)

1. Get lost.
Don't be afraid of being lost and not knowing where you are. You are going to get lost a lot. This doesn't have the be scary. Accept that you probably don't know where the hell you are a lot of the time when you first get here and get used to the feeling. You'll find you get damn good at not knowing where you are. This is the first step in figuring it out.

2. Not all White People are like you.
So stop giving them desperation eyes when you see them. The first few months you are here you will feel like everyone is staring at you and your ghostly white skin. They probably are. Not because you're different, but because you are staring at all of them like they are about to bite you. And wandering around looking lost and terrified. And you're also probably going the wrong way down the road, or up the escalator, or doing something else that is completely bizzare. It's ok. And when you see those other white people, they're probably German. Or French. They might not even speak English. They're just as different from you as the different colored people around you. It will be ok.

3. Watch people
Start watching what other people do. Not in a creepy, I want to eat you way, but in a casual, I need to figure out what the right way of doing things is way. You'll start to notice how they get on the escalator, what you should do on the MRT, where the good places to eat are (they're probably full and there's probably a queue)

4. Be willing to learn new words and use them
If you're pig headed and refuse to call it a lift, or a plaster, no one is going to know what the hell you are asking them. Adopt the language of where you are and people will understand you. Use your inference skills when someone says something to you and you have no idea what they mean. You'll find you can usually figure it out. Learn a few words of the language (thank you is a good one to know) so that you can make an effort. People will seriously appreciate it.

5. Accept that you are not here to change things
It's not your damn job. And by the way, if whitey knew what he was doing so well, don't you think there would be a job for you where you came from? No, this system isn't perfect. And it's got a lot of things that might freak you out or scare you, or that you just don't believe in. It's not  your job to have an opinion. (I know, that's hard for us in the West to accept). You're here to learn the culture and work within this framework. That's what they are paying you for. People will ask you what you think of it here. Be honest but also positive. How would you feel if a Singaporean came to your country and told you it was crap? Oh, and compliment their food. They really like that. If you eat curry, you're in.

6. People are people.
For the first few months, everyone is going to look like a Chinese person, or a Malay person, until you start to realize that they are just people. The human mind likes to sort things into categories so that you can understand it better. You're not a racist. Eventually, you will just start to see people as people and stop seeing their race first. It takes some time, but you'll get there.

7. Ask questions.
People like to tell you about their culture. They are the dominant people here. You have to reprogram yourself and stop treating Asians like they are minorities that you have to be extra careful not to offend. You're the minority now sister, and asking questions like "Why are you guys lighting stuff on fire?" will lead to cool converstaions where they will happily explain the festival of the dead to you. Ask questions with the humble understanding that this is their place, and you are the visitor. You'll learn some cool things.

8. Have a sense of humor (preferably the Canadian self-deprecating one)
People will ask you weird questions. "Are you a full time or part time vegetarian?" "Why are your eyes so big?" These aren't meant to be funny or weird, answer them. (Your eyes aren't bigger, your eyelids are just a funny shape compared to Asian people) Laugh about things. Make fun of yourself. Invite kids to touch your hair if they are staring at it. There aren't a lot of times you get the chance to be the minority, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you are talking to someone back home who comes from a different place, well, that's how people probably feel about you now. You can be an asshole about it, or you can laugh about it and invite them to ask questions about your pointy nose. It's all a great way to talk about race.

9.. Try new things
If you wanted to stay home and eat poutine, you would have. When people offer you their strange foods, try them. Some of them will be godawful (dried fish is one I simply can't handle) but sometimes you're going to find some seriously delicious things. People share their culture and their love through their food. If you're an asshole who won't try anything you are refusing to share in another person's culture. And isn't that why you came here in the first place?

10. Challenge yourself
If you suck at using chopsticks, keep trying. People will respect you for trying and before you know it, you're going to be a badass at it. If someone invites you to an activity you've never done, go for it. You're here, you're young, and you only live once. If you deny yourself the chance to explore this experience then you've wasted a whole lot of money and energy getting yourself to the other side of the world.

11. Trust it all
Pretty soon, you're going to feel more at ease. The terrified, lonely, mixed around feeling will go away and you will see that you are more than able to navigate this place. It's full of new things, strange things, funny things, tasty things and you are going to be a bigger, better, cooler person for having done this. Push away the negative feelings, bring in the positive ones, accept that you know nothing at all and go for it. You'll find your way.

12. Talk about race
A student in my grade 10 class in Canada taught me this lesson. When we refuse to talk about something, or to make fun of it, we give it the power of being untouchable. More than anything that gives us the cue that there is something really bad about it. Kids will ask you questions about race. They will ask you what you think they look like, or say derogatory things about their own race. Have these conversations. If you don't talk about it, you show them that you're chickenshit first of all, and that you think something is wrong with race . You're different, but you're certainly not better. Neither are they. We're all just different. Kids want to compare how your nose is shaped or how their eyes are shaped, and in the West you wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Here, go for it. That's one of the reasons it's cool to meet people from different places, the different things are what is interesting. And maybe, now that you know how it feels to be different, when you go back you'll continue to have these conversations with the kids who are different there. Maybe you can show them that being different is cool and that you're not afraid to talk about it because there's nothing wrong with it in the first place.

Canadian Thanksgiving!

This weekend I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner without real adults around (aka, I have to be the real adults now which is not as scary as it used to be).

The moment I saw my friend Kyla's incredible flat I said we needed to host a dinner party and make use of her fantastic kitchen and so we planned to make a Thanksgiving dinner for all of us Canadians living abroad.

There were a number of obstacles in this endeavor, one being that we are living in Asia where it is either incredibly hard to find certain Western foods, or incredibly expensive when you do. These were small matters for us intrepid Canadians.

One guy living here who did his university degree in Canada actually contacted the Canadian Singapore Association, which I frankly had no idea even existed to ask where we could find a turkey. Kyla and I wandered around Singapore going into every Cold Storage and calling the ones we weren't close to trying to locate a turkey. I think we had the same conversation about 10 times:

"Hi, do you carry turkey?"
"Wha?"
"You know turkey. Gobble gobble? *arm flapping*"
"Ah! Turkey ah? No."

However, finally we found one. She was only 12lbs which then scared us because our modest guest list quickly became about 30 people and we began to worry that there wouldn't be enough turkey to go around. This didn't stop us from taking the turkey once we bought it with us to Boat Quay to chill at the Prince of Wales for a little bit. We thought we'd show her around before her inevitable demise.

And so we decided to compensate with making a lot of side dishes in the hopes that that would make sure that there was enough food to go around. We started Friday night, with my preparing my Dad's ceaser salad recipe (which I may say turned out perfectly) and Kyla preparing some life changingly good butter tarts.

Kam, a pilot from Toronto, brought over three boxes of stuffing that he had bought when he was back home earlier in the month and we realized we only needed to cook the turkey for about 4 hours. We were expecting it to be an ordeal.

The next day we got up and finished defrosting the turkey in poor Matt's bathtub, which he arrived home to after two weeks in Australia and the 8 hour flight from hell to find me in the bathroom of his bedroom trying to find a way to tie the turkey onto the handle in the bathtub so that it wouldn't be submerged. Poor guy.

The rest of the day (aside from a break to go to zumba while the turkey was in the oven) was spent preparing stuffing, potatoes, veggies (I didn't touch them) lettuce for the salad, gravy, apple crisp, maccaroni salad, and all manner of delicious Canadian ish foods.

When everyone arrived it was a great night with everyone saying how good the food was, me being proud we didn't poison anyone and also manage to feed two vegetarians, one with a gluten allergy and all getting to meet new people. With a professional magician that Kyla knows thrown in for good measure.

All in all, I am very proud of our dinner and I am looking so forward to moving into a new flat in November that has a kitchen that I will actually be able to use so that I can start making food for myself like my own salads and butter tarts, haha!

Zumba!

I realize I haven't written on here in a while and I think that's probably because I'm not doing new things really so I don't think there's a lot to write about. My weeks are filled up with zumba class, usually three times a week, working, and on the weekends trying to see my friends and make new ones at various ex pat parties.

Iain is leaving Singapore this week which is going to be sad for me. We are an unlikely pair, he being in his mid-fifties and me being in my twenties. However, he's turned out to be the best friend I've had here. Having lived for so long in Hong Kong he always knows how I'm feeling when I talk about home and we always ask after each other's families. When I go to the UK in November and actually meet them it will be strange because they feel like they are my family already.

My Sunday afternoons won't be the same without meeting up in Little India and wandering around the mall. And I don't know who will be here to encourage me to go shopping and get my hair done and go tanning.

This coming weekend I am planning to cook my first Thanksgiving Turkey dinner with my friend Kyla for a group of our expat friends. I am looking forward to having some turkey dinner and to share the event with my new international friends. We have Austrians, Canadians, Americans, Mauritians, Brits, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Croatians and Kiwis coming. Possibly more that I don't remember. It will be an interesting evening I'm sure.

Right now my eye is on my trip to the UK and my trip back home for a few weeks. My good friend Christina is getting married on Friday and it's really sad for me that I can't be there with her, I was supposed to be her maid of honor and missing that important day for her is really sad for me.

In other news, I have found a new flat that I am hoping to move into in early November with an American teacher who just started at my school and his wife and a Canadian teacher that they share with. I'm really looking forward to living with people my own age and to having more of a collective space instead of feeling like I'm in someone else's house.

That will be exciting and I will post pictures of it when I am settled in. In the meantime, I am going to direct you to this video of a zumba class. But, imagine it with Singaporeans speaking Singlish and some very interesting Asian fashion choices and you will see what I do with myself three nights a week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlRPHHKJt7Q&feature=related