Home is Whenever I'm With You

Alright, it has been a damn long time since I've updated this here blog and in that time I've seen the desert of Dubai, spent 10 days in England, visited Stonehenge, scattered my Grandma, traveled to Canada, hugged a large proportion of the Canadians that I love, reconciled with Ben, been given a diamond ring, celebrated Christmas with my Dad and Marilyn, traveled back to Singapore, been trapped in Heathrow for 12 hours, had my bags lost by either BA or Qantas, begun sharing my life in Singapore with Ben who is living here now, celebrated New Year's Eve with my Singaporean friends and been able to wake up beside my love and best friend in Asia for the last week.

Whew!

So that's the TL;DR version, if you can believe it.

I thought I'd start with that for y'all so that if you get bored of my expansion on things at least you will know that you kind of know what you've missed.

So, the longer version is:

School finished for the year in Singapore with my drama students performing their Lorax production for the open house geared at primary students who might be considering our school for next year. The Singaporean school year follows the calendar year, FYI, so it makes lots more sense but our end of the year holiday takes place in December which is why I have had all this time to go globetrotting and friend and family hugging.

The morning after the open house I was officially allowed to leave Singapore (I have to actually apply to leave the country because I'm a civil servant) and off I was! I took a flight connecting through Dubai which was neat because I could see the desert from the plane and I've never seen it before. Two 8 hour plane rides later I arrived in London.

Now, I made arrangements with Iain to stay with his son Joe who lives in London and who I had never met before. He sent me directions on how to get to his house by taking the Tube from the airport so after 16 hours of flying I dragged my huge bag through what felt like at least 10 kilometres of underground stations and on to a 1.5 hour journey to the area where Joe lives where I met him at his local pub.

Joe is a really cool guy, luckily, and we hit it off immediately. He was kind enough to host me for a few days in London and he and his roomate and best friend Ben took me around London to see the Tate, the Thames, Big Ben, Picadilly Circus, the Tower of London, Trafalgar Square, Whitechapel and also for some really tasty curry.

After London, I took a train to Salisbury to see my friend Iain for the first time since he left Singapore. It was awesome to see him and spend a few days catching up with him and going shopping at Tesco and such. He lives in a very small village and I don't know how he is maintaining his sanity there after living in Asia for so long, but he's working on it. I must also give him lots of props for managing to find Stonehenge, which he has lived near for most of his adult life and has never been to until I dragged him out to find it. It is not really so huge as you imagine, or brown for that matter. It's grey and covered in moss and rather pretty.

Then I took a 6 hour train ride up north to meet my Dad and stepmother in Keighly. We met up with my cousins Mary and Philip and Philip's family to go and scatter my Grandmother at Lake Windermere. It was a very cold and grey day (as most are in England) but having our cousins there made the whole journey much less painful I found. So, thanks guys!

After spending a few days in Yorkshire D+M and I flew back to Toronto and I spent a few days with them in Stoney Creek before I took a train to Toronto to meet up with Ben.

Now, I haven't talked very much on here about what's been going on with Ben because I didn't know if things were going to work out with us up until I saw him really. But he's been working on finding a way to come to Singapore for a while now and he found a great Mandarin Chinese program at the National University of Singapore where he can study and get his credentials for being such a ninja at Chinese and he is here doing that.

So Ben and I got together in Toronto and talked through our relationship stuff and were able to reconcile and work everything out which is really awesome for us both. Then he gave me a diamond ring, which was a giant shock to me, and everyone keeps congratulating me even though we are not engaged. Ben said it is a promise ring and it was my Christmas gift, but it is beautiful and Canadian diamonds.

We spent about a week in Toronto, Christina and Adam took the bus up to meet up with us and show us the lovely photos from their wedding which I of course missed being in Singapore. And Nicky and Eric hosted us for a night which was kind. We went to Bingo in a sketchy neighborhood and lost, as well as shopping a lot at the Eaton's Centre and all along Dundas and Yonge. It was really fun to be in Toronto with Ben and my friends and just hanging out and being back home in a place with Shopper's Drug Mart and the CN Tower and stuff like that.

I came back to Stoney Creek for a night from Toronto to surprise my Dad for his birthday and then Ben and I headed up to Kingston. My friend Ali took the bus all the way up from London on her way back home to the States for Christmas and spent a few days with Ben and I which was awesome and my friend Same came down from Brockville for a pub night. We went bowling with a group of friends and I managed to catch up with just about everyone in Kingston who is my good friend.

Ali and I even got the chance to come in to Starbucks for an open with Ben one morning and work behind the counter for about an hour before the store manager came in so I got the chance to make a few drinks again which was fun.

Ben's family had their Christmas while I was there which was really nice and then I headed back to Stoney Creek and Ben got ready to leave for Singapore. He actually left Canada before I did because he had to be here to write a placement test for his program so when I got back to Singapore he was already there to meet me.

The crappy thing was that I got bumped to a later connecting flight from London on my way back because my plane was delayed leaving Toronto which meant that I would miss my connection. That meant I ended up having a 12 hour stop over after an 8 hour flight and before another 12 hour flight and it was not overly enjoyable.

But the good thing was that even though my bag got lost, Ben was here when I arrived and now we are able to share living here and not be in a long distance relationship, or away from each other.

Last night we spent NYE with my friends Kyla and Kevin and their friends who are visiting from Canada and the U.S. and it was just really nice to have time here with my friends and to have Ben there as well.

So, that pretty much catches you up on a crazy month. I've spent hours and hours and hours travelling to one one place or the other but it's been nice to see a lot of my loved ones.

Happy New Year everyone!

England!

I am currently in Iain's house in Dorset, uploading my photos after our journey to Stonehenge. I have been in Dorset since Monday and I leave tomorrow morning on a rather arduous train journey north. I am to take the train from Salisbury to Waterloo Station in London, take the Tube to King's Cross (Harry Potter induced squeal) then the speed train to Leeds and then another train to Keighly which is where my Dad and Marilyn are.

I'm meeting up with them for a few days in Yorkshire so we can scatter my grandma and see some cousins and visit with their friends Caroline and Adrian who own a lovely bed and breakfast up there. More pictures will no doubt follow.

My students at school performed The Lorax on Friday and then Saturday morning it was off to Changi to catch my flight to Dubai. My stopover was supposed to be an hour but it ended up being more of a frantic dash to the gate to catch my connecting flight to London. Two 8 hour plane rides later I landed at Heathrow and found my way to the Tube. I took the Tube for about another hour and a half to Joe's place where I met him at a pub.

Not knowing him and only having known his Dad I felt a bit weird showing up and staying there, but Joe was lovely and we got on very well. We stayed up until 7am with his room mate Ben after going to another pub and having a good night. The next day we got up and saw the sights in London. I said that the things I really wanted to see were the Tate and the Globe and we also managed to get in the Thames, Big Ben, a Christmas fair along the Thames, Picadilly Circus, Trafalgar Square and Whitechapel. I was very pleased with the whole day and got to see things I've always wanted to see.

Then I took the train down to Salisbury and met up with Iain, which is lovely. I got to meet his wife Dawn who I've heard about for ages and see his beautiful house. I've discovered that the main difference, other than accents, between rural North England and rural South England seems to be that there are hedges along the roads instead of stone walls. Other than that, it's mostly grass, sheep and very old buildings.

Today Iain and I went on an epic quest for Stonehenge, which he has lived near most of his life and has never been to. It was a bit of a challenge to find it but once we did I was very excited and Iain hung around at the fence while I paid the 7 pounds to go in and see it closer up. It is smaller than you think but no less interesting and beautiful in a strange way. We ended up meeting some Singaporeans and Malaysians in the car park which I thought was pretty funny. Especially because the one guy is in England to work with the church and try and convert more people to Christianity, which I find poetic and ironic.

Dealing with the cold weather isn't super fun, considering I'm a hardy Canadian lass I've been sporting 5 shirts minimum every where I go and still freezing my butt off. Don't know how I'll manage when I actually get to Canada where I believe there is currently snow on the ground.

Tonight Iain and I are meeting Dawn after work at the local pub and then coming home to have a roast for dinner with the lamb that Iain and I got at the market yesterday when we went. I really have enjoyed being here and English food is always delicious, people don't know what they are talking about when they make fun. It's got lovely fresh butter and milk and cheese and delicious meat. Iain is also a great cook so he's been making me tasty breakfasts and dinners which have made me very happy.

I'm looking forward now to going back to Canada and seeing my loved ones back there and getting my head around the last 8 months and what it's all really been about.

http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/England%202011/

The Lorax

And, before I go, the long worked for production of the Lorax that my awesome drama students performed today :)

Awesome News!

Ok, I've known this for a while but I didn't want to share it until Ben told his work that he is leaving, but he is coming to Singapore in December!! YAY!

We are working things out and he found a course at the National University of Singapore in Chinese Language so he will be here for at least three months. I'm super excited about it and looking forward to us being able to be together at least for a little while. He has said he will go to zumba classes with me and I've said I will learn how to lift weights with him.

So, today is not only my last day in Singapore for about a month, it is also my last day alone in Singapore for a while.

I'm getting super excited about my trip, I leave tomorrow and will be in London so soon! I will also be flying through Dubai which will be really interesting for me. I promise to take lots of pictures.

My drama students are performing The Lorax today, and I'm hoping to film it or at least take some pictures and I will post those when I can too.

Travellin'

Hello all!
I'm sorry it's been so long since my last missive, I fear that my life is somewhat boring and I find there's not much new to post. The smells, sights, and sounds of Singapore have become home to me in a lot of ways, so it doesn't all seem so novel and silly anymore.

Aside from every now and then someone still mentions something that shocks me. For instance, I asked why all the stray cats don't seem to have tails. I wondered if there was some sort of anomaly or if they tend to fight and get them pulled off or something. Apparently, the Chinese believe that it is good luck for a cat to not have a tail. So, to pump up the luck, they tie rubber bands around the tails of kittens, especially boy ones so that they fall off.

Also, it seems the cool place to hang out is the airport. I shit you not. The best place to go shopping, take someone on a date, or just go to eat at 3 am cause it's 24 hours is Changi Airport. Singaporeans love it. Students go there to study, aunties go to shop, and everyone goes to eat. Who'da thunk it?

Anyhow, I am leaving the island this Saturday for London. I am going to stay with my friend Iain's son for a few days, then go to Dorset and see him and then meet up with my Dad and Marilyn up in Yorkshire. Then we are flying back together to Toronto and I'll be back in Canada for about three weeks.

I will be sure to post pictures of my trips, I'm sure that the differences between home and here will become all the more apparent when I go back. I can tell you I'm not looking forward to the cold, but I am looking forward to seeing my loved ones again. Oh, and eating poutine. I can't stress that one enough.

Ben sent me a care package with a little music box that plays Oh Canada and I almost started crying. It made me realize how much I miss our crazy country.

A White Person's Guide to Living in Asia (Or Probably Places Where White People Aren't the Majority)

1. Get lost.
Don't be afraid of being lost and not knowing where you are. You are going to get lost a lot. This doesn't have the be scary. Accept that you probably don't know where the hell you are a lot of the time when you first get here and get used to the feeling. You'll find you get damn good at not knowing where you are. This is the first step in figuring it out.

2. Not all White People are like you.
So stop giving them desperation eyes when you see them. The first few months you are here you will feel like everyone is staring at you and your ghostly white skin. They probably are. Not because you're different, but because you are staring at all of them like they are about to bite you. And wandering around looking lost and terrified. And you're also probably going the wrong way down the road, or up the escalator, or doing something else that is completely bizzare. It's ok. And when you see those other white people, they're probably German. Or French. They might not even speak English. They're just as different from you as the different colored people around you. It will be ok.

3. Watch people
Start watching what other people do. Not in a creepy, I want to eat you way, but in a casual, I need to figure out what the right way of doing things is way. You'll start to notice how they get on the escalator, what you should do on the MRT, where the good places to eat are (they're probably full and there's probably a queue)

4. Be willing to learn new words and use them
If you're pig headed and refuse to call it a lift, or a plaster, no one is going to know what the hell you are asking them. Adopt the language of where you are and people will understand you. Use your inference skills when someone says something to you and you have no idea what they mean. You'll find you can usually figure it out. Learn a few words of the language (thank you is a good one to know) so that you can make an effort. People will seriously appreciate it.

5. Accept that you are not here to change things
It's not your damn job. And by the way, if whitey knew what he was doing so well, don't you think there would be a job for you where you came from? No, this system isn't perfect. And it's got a lot of things that might freak you out or scare you, or that you just don't believe in. It's not  your job to have an opinion. (I know, that's hard for us in the West to accept). You're here to learn the culture and work within this framework. That's what they are paying you for. People will ask you what you think of it here. Be honest but also positive. How would you feel if a Singaporean came to your country and told you it was crap? Oh, and compliment their food. They really like that. If you eat curry, you're in.

6. People are people.
For the first few months, everyone is going to look like a Chinese person, or a Malay person, until you start to realize that they are just people. The human mind likes to sort things into categories so that you can understand it better. You're not a racist. Eventually, you will just start to see people as people and stop seeing their race first. It takes some time, but you'll get there.

7. Ask questions.
People like to tell you about their culture. They are the dominant people here. You have to reprogram yourself and stop treating Asians like they are minorities that you have to be extra careful not to offend. You're the minority now sister, and asking questions like "Why are you guys lighting stuff on fire?" will lead to cool converstaions where they will happily explain the festival of the dead to you. Ask questions with the humble understanding that this is their place, and you are the visitor. You'll learn some cool things.

8. Have a sense of humor (preferably the Canadian self-deprecating one)
People will ask you weird questions. "Are you a full time or part time vegetarian?" "Why are your eyes so big?" These aren't meant to be funny or weird, answer them. (Your eyes aren't bigger, your eyelids are just a funny shape compared to Asian people) Laugh about things. Make fun of yourself. Invite kids to touch your hair if they are staring at it. There aren't a lot of times you get the chance to be the minority, and that uncomfortable feeling you get when you are talking to someone back home who comes from a different place, well, that's how people probably feel about you now. You can be an asshole about it, or you can laugh about it and invite them to ask questions about your pointy nose. It's all a great way to talk about race.

9.. Try new things
If you wanted to stay home and eat poutine, you would have. When people offer you their strange foods, try them. Some of them will be godawful (dried fish is one I simply can't handle) but sometimes you're going to find some seriously delicious things. People share their culture and their love through their food. If you're an asshole who won't try anything you are refusing to share in another person's culture. And isn't that why you came here in the first place?

10. Challenge yourself
If you suck at using chopsticks, keep trying. People will respect you for trying and before you know it, you're going to be a badass at it. If someone invites you to an activity you've never done, go for it. You're here, you're young, and you only live once. If you deny yourself the chance to explore this experience then you've wasted a whole lot of money and energy getting yourself to the other side of the world.

11. Trust it all
Pretty soon, you're going to feel more at ease. The terrified, lonely, mixed around feeling will go away and you will see that you are more than able to navigate this place. It's full of new things, strange things, funny things, tasty things and you are going to be a bigger, better, cooler person for having done this. Push away the negative feelings, bring in the positive ones, accept that you know nothing at all and go for it. You'll find your way.

12. Talk about race
A student in my grade 10 class in Canada taught me this lesson. When we refuse to talk about something, or to make fun of it, we give it the power of being untouchable. More than anything that gives us the cue that there is something really bad about it. Kids will ask you questions about race. They will ask you what you think they look like, or say derogatory things about their own race. Have these conversations. If you don't talk about it, you show them that you're chickenshit first of all, and that you think something is wrong with race . You're different, but you're certainly not better. Neither are they. We're all just different. Kids want to compare how your nose is shaped or how their eyes are shaped, and in the West you wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. Here, go for it. That's one of the reasons it's cool to meet people from different places, the different things are what is interesting. And maybe, now that you know how it feels to be different, when you go back you'll continue to have these conversations with the kids who are different there. Maybe you can show them that being different is cool and that you're not afraid to talk about it because there's nothing wrong with it in the first place.

Canadian Thanksgiving!

This weekend I hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner without real adults around (aka, I have to be the real adults now which is not as scary as it used to be).

The moment I saw my friend Kyla's incredible flat I said we needed to host a dinner party and make use of her fantastic kitchen and so we planned to make a Thanksgiving dinner for all of us Canadians living abroad.

There were a number of obstacles in this endeavor, one being that we are living in Asia where it is either incredibly hard to find certain Western foods, or incredibly expensive when you do. These were small matters for us intrepid Canadians.

One guy living here who did his university degree in Canada actually contacted the Canadian Singapore Association, which I frankly had no idea even existed to ask where we could find a turkey. Kyla and I wandered around Singapore going into every Cold Storage and calling the ones we weren't close to trying to locate a turkey. I think we had the same conversation about 10 times:

"Hi, do you carry turkey?"
"Wha?"
"You know turkey. Gobble gobble? *arm flapping*"
"Ah! Turkey ah? No."

However, finally we found one. She was only 12lbs which then scared us because our modest guest list quickly became about 30 people and we began to worry that there wouldn't be enough turkey to go around. This didn't stop us from taking the turkey once we bought it with us to Boat Quay to chill at the Prince of Wales for a little bit. We thought we'd show her around before her inevitable demise.

And so we decided to compensate with making a lot of side dishes in the hopes that that would make sure that there was enough food to go around. We started Friday night, with my preparing my Dad's ceaser salad recipe (which I may say turned out perfectly) and Kyla preparing some life changingly good butter tarts.

Kam, a pilot from Toronto, brought over three boxes of stuffing that he had bought when he was back home earlier in the month and we realized we only needed to cook the turkey for about 4 hours. We were expecting it to be an ordeal.

The next day we got up and finished defrosting the turkey in poor Matt's bathtub, which he arrived home to after two weeks in Australia and the 8 hour flight from hell to find me in the bathroom of his bedroom trying to find a way to tie the turkey onto the handle in the bathtub so that it wouldn't be submerged. Poor guy.

The rest of the day (aside from a break to go to zumba while the turkey was in the oven) was spent preparing stuffing, potatoes, veggies (I didn't touch them) lettuce for the salad, gravy, apple crisp, maccaroni salad, and all manner of delicious Canadian ish foods.

When everyone arrived it was a great night with everyone saying how good the food was, me being proud we didn't poison anyone and also manage to feed two vegetarians, one with a gluten allergy and all getting to meet new people. With a professional magician that Kyla knows thrown in for good measure.

All in all, I am very proud of our dinner and I am looking so forward to moving into a new flat in November that has a kitchen that I will actually be able to use so that I can start making food for myself like my own salads and butter tarts, haha!

Zumba!

I realize I haven't written on here in a while and I think that's probably because I'm not doing new things really so I don't think there's a lot to write about. My weeks are filled up with zumba class, usually three times a week, working, and on the weekends trying to see my friends and make new ones at various ex pat parties.

Iain is leaving Singapore this week which is going to be sad for me. We are an unlikely pair, he being in his mid-fifties and me being in my twenties. However, he's turned out to be the best friend I've had here. Having lived for so long in Hong Kong he always knows how I'm feeling when I talk about home and we always ask after each other's families. When I go to the UK in November and actually meet them it will be strange because they feel like they are my family already.

My Sunday afternoons won't be the same without meeting up in Little India and wandering around the mall. And I don't know who will be here to encourage me to go shopping and get my hair done and go tanning.

This coming weekend I am planning to cook my first Thanksgiving Turkey dinner with my friend Kyla for a group of our expat friends. I am looking forward to having some turkey dinner and to share the event with my new international friends. We have Austrians, Canadians, Americans, Mauritians, Brits, Malaysians, Singaporeans, Croatians and Kiwis coming. Possibly more that I don't remember. It will be an interesting evening I'm sure.

Right now my eye is on my trip to the UK and my trip back home for a few weeks. My good friend Christina is getting married on Friday and it's really sad for me that I can't be there with her, I was supposed to be her maid of honor and missing that important day for her is really sad for me.

In other news, I have found a new flat that I am hoping to move into in early November with an American teacher who just started at my school and his wife and a Canadian teacher that they share with. I'm really looking forward to living with people my own age and to having more of a collective space instead of feeling like I'm in someone else's house.

That will be exciting and I will post pictures of it when I am settled in. In the meantime, I am going to direct you to this video of a zumba class. But, imagine it with Singaporeans speaking Singlish and some very interesting Asian fashion choices and you will see what I do with myself three nights a week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlRPHHKJt7Q&feature=related

S.K. Jolley

That's the name that appeared on the blue envelopes that arrived for me every few months when I was a little girl. There's a special joy in receiving mail, even now as an adult I get a little thrill when I see a personalized envelope mixed in with all the bills. What was even more special was that these blue envelopes came to me all the way from England.

It might have been the Spice Girls, or a desire to find my individual culture and heritage, but I was an Anglophile through and through and the stamps bearing the Queen's cameo always struck a chord. What was more important than the content of these letters was what they represented: a connection to my Grandmother.

My Grandmother is a woman that I knew very little of, and yet, found a way to know a lot. She lived so far away and I was only able to visit her twice in the time that I was old enough for it to be remembered, but through our letters back and forth over many years I was able to get to know her.

She was a reader. A voracious one. She liked plays, and novels and she liked to watch her stories. She was someone intensely interested in the world around her and what the people in it were doing with it. She was intellectually very acute and I suspect she knew more than many people gave her credit for in her long years. Being a woman in her time may not have always been easy for someone with her intellectual fortitude but I suspect it was that fortitude that allowed her to draw such strength.

I still remember the last letter she sent to me before she suffered a debilitating stroke that left her paralyzed on one side and incapable of returning my letters. The tone was markedly different from her usual letters. She usually liked to commiserate with me about the tedious nature of housework, or encourage me to read a new novel she was particularly enjoying, or to inquire about what plays we were putting on that month at the theatre where I worked. This letter had the ring of a goodbye. It spoke more generally about the lessons to draw out of life and the things to keep my focus on. My grandma was no fool and I think she knew that stroke was coming for her.

Remarkably, she survived it and managed to carry on. (She was English after all). She went on to stay in a lovely nursing home where I was able to visit her two years ago over Christmas with my Dad and Marilyn. Though she could no longer write to me, I continued to send her letters and share my life with her. I admit that they were not as frequent as I think she deserved but I do know that she liked getting them and I liked writing them.

My last letter, sent last week and express posted had that same change in tone I suspect as the one that she sent me before her stroke. I spoke of how much she had taught me and how valuable she was to me. I don't know if she got that last letter but this time, I knew that it was coming to an end.

My trip to England in November will now be so that we can scatter her ashes. Though she is gone, I am still very grateful that I was able to have such a relationship with my grandmother, all the way on the other side of the ocean who showed me what strength and dignity can look like and that there is a root inside me that I can trace back to answer the question of why I've always loved to read.

Rest in Peace.

Hong Kong!

I am finally back in Singapore after 10 days in Hong Kong. I have lots to write about so I'm going to go chronologically because it's the easiest to sort out in my own mind.

http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Bea%20and%20Iain%20do%20Hong%20Kong/

My last two weeks have been vacation-y with a number of holidays here in Singapore with the Presidential Election and Hari Raya. As you know, I've been dealing with a rather confusing and complicated break up so I really needed this time to sort myself out and get my head around what's happened and changed for me.

I spent lots of time with my friends and Iain's solution to a broken heart is to spend as much time in the sun and swimming as possible because how can you be sad if you are sunbathing. The answer is that you can, but it's a lot better than being sad locked up in your room.

Singapore has a holiday called "Teacher's Day" which is a really cool day for the students to give thanks to their teachers and shower us with presents and gifts. I will say that Singapore teachers are some of the hardest working people I've seen and they really deserve it. Many spend 12 hours a day at school and often weekends too to put on CCA programs, exam preparations and to cope with the astronomical teaching load we all face. If any group of professionals deserved a day, it's Singaporean teachers. It was really touching to have students giving me cards and presents and saying thank you for what I've done. It being my first year as a teacher and being in a foreign context I spend a lot of my time feeling like I'm behind everyone else and trying to tread water and keep from drowning. I know I'm no where near an awesome teacher yet so it was encouraging to hear from students that they appreciate the work that I do.

Then it was off to Hong Kong with my good friend Iain. Now, in the interest of clarity, I will explain who Iain is and why we are friends. He is slightly younger than my Dad and from the UK, as my Dad is and so in a lot of ways he reminds me of my Dad. I'm in between his daughter and his son's ages so I think for both of us we are like family when we are away from home. We have a lot of fun and laugh a lot and people either think he's my Dad or I'm his concubine, but neither is the truth.

We spent the week with Iain's friend Ricky in Sai Kung which is outside of Kowloon. I will tell you that the side of Hong Kong that I saw was not the one I thought I would see. I was expecting bright city lights, tall buildings and fast paced Asian culture, but I found myself in a picturesque fishing "village" which was more like village meets city. They had a Starbucks, but they also had little junk boats that ferried people to the neighboring islands and beaches.

Iain and I continued our sun and swim therapy for my broken heart and ended up becoming very very tanned. We made it our goal to become racially ambiguous and hope that people will mistake us for African.

I managed to get some really great shopping done and found amazing deals and cool new clothes. I'm really pleased with the clothes I got and some are for work, some are for bumming around on weekends but all of them make me feel really good and comfortable.

Some notable places that I went were the Lady's Market and Flower Market, Dim Sum breakfasts, Trio Bay beach, Central up the escalator and Kowloon for shopping. I have posted pictures and videos up to my photobucket, I haven't watched the videos yet but I tried to take some of driving at night and being on the boat to the beach so it will be interesting to see how they turned out.

Hong Kong felt much more like China to me, with the lush green hills in the background and the style of houses it just seemed more like what I imagine China looks like (not surprising, considering it kind of is China...) and Cantonese was spoken much more than Mandarin so I went through the confused Chinese brain thing all over again, having just wrapped my head around Mandarin and Singlish.

This being my first real trip out of Singapore I got a little more perspective on what it's like back here. I realised just how accessible things seem here, I know at any time of night or day that I can get from one place to another and I know how to do it or how to find out how. Things feel more safe but at the same time more contained and in a way sanitised. Singapore seems to me much more like a fish bowl but at the same time much more culturally diverse and full of rich flavours and languages as well as it's own special brand of all of it mixed into one. I also realised this morning when I was woken at my friend's flat by a marching band practicing at a youth arts centre near their place that I feel more like I am in tune with the vibrance and life here on the island. I don't always know what's going on but there's more of a sense of harmony and a common moving towards something. I don't know if that really explains it, but it has certainly been an interesting experience.

It was wonderful to be travelling and relaxing and it's been really nice to come back and have friends waiting for me to step off the plane and go out dancing. Last night we went to an amazing bar called 1 Altitude which is on the 70th floor of a building in Raffles where you can see a panorama of the entire island. It was breathtaking, beautiful and the most fun I've had in a while, just dancing with my friends and feeling confident and beautiful and independent and free. It's been a rough go lately but I do feel that I'm coming out the other side only slightly the worse for wear.

Also: life just feels better when you go through it with a golden tan. ;)

Singlemore

I really don't mean to by punny because frankly, I feel pretty terrible right now. Yesterday my relationship with Ben ended and I find myself on this island and no longer with the lifeline back to Canada that was Ben. I used to talk to him at least once and sometimes twice a day and I always had someone to share my day with and to hear about what life was like back home. In some ways that may have been a bad thing for me because it meant I was always living my life partways back there. However, losing that is devastating.

This isn't my first breakup, and the way life seems to be going for me I doubt it will be my last. It seems that it's impossible to find a person who won't let you down but that might just be my jaded experience talking right now. The thought of being single is actually overwhelming to me right now and also a little bit scary but possibly in time I will move to embrace it.

As it stands now, I am nursing my emotional wounds, doing my best to take care of myself and mourning the loss of one of the best friends I've ever had. While I hope that we will be able to be friends I know that for the next little while I'm going to have to really figure out how to do this alone.

Expat Life

I have resisted the expat lifestyle since I got here, saying that if I wanted to meet more people like me I would have stayed home. But I will tell you this, meeting friends in Singapore has been a bitch. Meeting Singaporean friends that is. I don't know why, I'm not saying Singaporean aren't nice or friendly, they just don't seem to want to be my friend. Expats on the other hand, are always willing to invite you along. We are a group of displaced persons so we are quick to welcome newbies and there's an innate understanding we all have of how the others feel because none of us are really "home."

I told Ben when he was here that you realize how many different types of white people there are when you live abroad because you see people who look like you and you think "awesome, people like me!" and then you hear them talking and they are speaking Dutch, or German, or French or some other crazy language, or they are speaking English with an Australian, or Kiwi, or British accent and you realize that they probably aren't really just like you at all. And that's something I actually really like.

It's made a big difference having more people to hang out with because during the week my life is an insane day to day battle to keep my head above the water and not drown utterly in the million and one things I have to do. They say your first year teaching is the hardest and I can also tell you that the work load of a Singaporean teacher is just insane. They have a huge problem keeping teachers in the profession here because they burn out usually in about 3 to 4 years and really it's no wonder with 40 kids to a class, homerooms, Lesson Study, Department meetings, setting exam papers, marking, CCA duties and every other extra administrative task that is passed to you, not to mention the courses and extra training we are always going for. Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful to have my job and I love doing it, but holy moses is the workload here intense. And people keep smiling and saying that I'm currently "off-loaded" because it's my first year. If this is easy, I don't want to see hard.

So you see it is all the more important that on the weekends I can go to the beach with some friends and fall asleep in the sun and forget about the insane pile of marking waiting for me when I come home. And it's all the more important that I have my trip to Hong Kong for next month booked. I will make sure to post lots of pictures and tell you all about it!

Surfin!

The group of people I met at the barbecue last weekend have quickly become a sort of gang of friends and we went to Sentosa to check out the Wave House this National Day holiday. I had a lot of fun trying to learn how to surf and spending time with some really cool and interesting people in the expat community. One guy I was talking to said he had a bit of a hard time when he first got here meeting people because he found it hard to make friends with locals but the expats were really welcoming, so I guess that seems to be the way to go.

Some of the people we were hanging out with are really impressive, going to Cambridge and MIT, there were pilots and bankers and photographers and dudes working for UPS. It's nice to meet people who aren't all teachers and who come from different backgrounds. Some are Swedish, American, Malaysian, Croatian, and the list goes on.

Surfing was kind of hard, you have to be ready to fall and my main problem was that my bathing suit kept coming off, luckily in the crazy wave pool part where no one can see you so it wasn't so bad. I just really enjoyed being on the beach, enjoying the sun and having nice people to hang out with. I have the world's weirdest sunburn today because I decided to be independent and put sunscreen on my own back, so there's a red patch in the middle where I couldn't reach.

Today I feel sort of sad and crappy again today which sucks because yesterday I was incredibly happy. I guess it's all one day at at time. The stressful thing is everyone asking me what I'm going to do when my contract is over and me not having a super good answer. I know that if I go back to Canada it will be hard to find a job and to survive, especially because I have no place of my own to go back to and pretty much a few boxes of books to my name. The last thing I want to do is to go back to Starbucks and there are lots of reasons to stay in Singapore or to stay Internationally teaching, but at the same time I do really miss home and want to be with Ben again. The big question here is what do you do when the contract is over and I guess the answer will come slowly and form itself. I just wish I had a better answer to give people than to smile and laugh and shake my head.

BBQ

Work keeps me pretty busy so I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post. You will be pleased to know that I am still on my health kick, going to Zumba class and walking more. Also, still on the quit train which is not as hard as it's been in the past.

The really good thing these days is that I met a new friend through the beauty we know as facebook. She taught in the Dominican Republic with a girl I went to teacher's college with who put us in touch when she found out that her friend was coming here to Singapore. Her name is Kyla and we have lots in common and I think will be good friends. We went to Zumba class this weekend together and I invited her to a barbeque at a guy from school's condo with Iain and we had a really great time. The people there were all really nice, from all over the place, Austria, France, Sweden, Singapore, UK. Expats are all an interesting breed, I think it takes a certain personality type to move across the world so we tend to get along with each other.

This week is a short week because of National Day, which is great because some of the people from the party invited Kyla and I to go surfing at the wave house at Sentosa which I think is going to be a pretty cool challenge. I've never been surfing and I generally tend to avoid physical activity but my new health kick says to go for it and enjoy myself. Also, it won't hurt to work on my tan...

Getting Healthy

I am going to try and be more healthy. I am quitting the vice that many of you may know I partake in, which is going to be hard but I am looking forward to the freedom that will come with it. I am also trying to make myself drink more water because you sweat buckets in this place and I need to keep myself hydrated. Also, tonight I am going to a Zoomba class with my friend. I will get back to you on how that goes...it's sure to be interesting...

Racial Harmony Day

Sorry for the less frequent blog posts, but work is busy and also probably not all that interesting to write about all the time so I figure I should limit myself to when I have something relatively interesting to talk about.

This week my school celebrated a National holiday, which is called Racial Harmony Day. Singapore is gearing up for their National Day, which is a seriously big deal here. They have a huge show at Marina Bay and people pay up to $200 for tickets to go. I keep laughing because for Canada Day we all just get some beers and a blanket and watch some fireworks.

Racial Harmony Day is partly because of some racial rioting that happened here a while ago, to try and encourage Singaporeans to embrace each other's cultures. You can imagine that with three very different ethnic groups all living together on such a small island this is an important thing to maintain. Even the Pledge which all Singaporeans take in the morning at school says:

"We the citizens of Singapore pledge ourselves as one united people, regardless of race, language, or religion to build a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation."

It's all a good idea in theory, and I truly to appreciate the sentiment behind it. All things told, Singapore is a much more integrated multicultural society to what we are trying to achieve in Canada. As I work with the youth here I can tell you that lots of kids have friends of different ethnic groups and there is less of a racial divide than you can see in Canada sometimes. Students take the time to learn words of each other's language and when Muslims go to Mosque, or are fasting, everyone knows what's going on and nothing is made into a big deal. The school canteen has Halal food, Chinese and Western and there isn't really the groupings that we have in Canada. Sure, there's Little India or Chinatown but even in those areas you might still find a Mosque, or a Hindu Temple in Chinatown, or a Chinese restaurant in Little India.

That being said, there are certainly still some problems. A teacher I work with who is from Mauritius was called the N word by a student and I had a student use it in my classroom too. Kids here don't really understand the term, but it's still pretty shocking to hear it.

Ads for apartment rentals still contain "No Indians" or "No Malays" because landlords have preconceived notions of people of those groups.

It's going to take more than dressing up in the clothes of another ethnic group for people to really get an understanding of each other, but you do have to hand it to Singapore for trying.

It felt weird and awkward to be consciously dressing up as someone from another culture, in Canada I would have felt like a huge idiot, but here people complemented me on the clothes I bought in Little India.

First off I'd like to give a big shout out to my awesome Mumma, whose birthday is this week! Happy Birthday!!

It's been a hectic week and I haven't had time to come on here and update all of you on how things are going on this here island nation, so I thought it being Saturday night and me not being out with my friends I ought to update you all.

These past two weeks I have been working with the Drama Club again on a competition that was held today, the National Literature Festival's book trailer competition. It was the first year that the drama club was able to send two teams and I'm proud to say that our teams got second runner up for My Sister's Keeper and Gold for Emily of Emerald Hill. I recorded them on my iPhone and have posted the videos of their performances on youtube, I will put the links at the bottom of this post.

Work has been hectic and with everything being thrown at my it's been sink or swim. I would characterise my current state as treading water in the storm. There is lots of marking, what with me having 160 secondary two literature students alone and you can imagine how many pages of essays that makes whenever I assign anything.

This week we had Catherine Lim, a noted Singaporean author come to the school and discuss her work. Our lesson study group, which is a group of teachers who take on a research project each year to examine different teaching strategies or other pedagogical methodologies in a group, has been working on ways of teaching students Irony and Catherine Lim uses a lot of irony in her work. I really suggest some of her short stories to teachers interested in teaching irony.

It was great to have her at the school and many students were enthusiastically inspired by her and her experience as a writer. She also gave me some awesome tips that I've been putting into use with my students that when phrasing HOW irony works it is helpful to use "yet" or "the very." This works like a charm teachers! My hint of the day.

On the social side of things I am making more friends and spending more time with the ones I have, when I have it which isn't often. I am going tomorrow night with a group of ex pat teachers to see Harry Potter which I am excited for. Also I am planning a trip possibly to Hong Kong for the break in September with my friend Iain who taught there for 15 years as well as a possible trip to the UK over the Christmas holiday to see my Grandmother and visit London.

So in short, things are good, I am feeling much more secure in my place in the world now that I'm teaching and my students make me laugh every day so it's a joy to go in to work, even when they are naughty. Enjoy these videos of my drama kids, I'm so proud of them!!

Emily of Emerald Hill (a Singaporean play that I am currently teaching to my sec 2 students, this performance won the gold. I sadly missed the first couple of seconds when recording, but you can still see the great work they put in)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8YlJ0GMxFU


My Sister's Keeper (this is a book you probably have heard of, or the movie. About a girl whose family wants her to donate her kidney to her sister. This performance won second runner up)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nMkDa7iFZc

Ben's Visit (Better Late Than Never)

I finally have a bit of time on my hands as today is yet another of Singapore's long weekend Mondays, so I thought I should take the opportunity to finally post about Ben's visit.

He arrived on a Friday night into Changi Airport and I took the MRT to the airport to meet him. For some reason I was super nervous and for the first few minutes when we were finally together it seemed strange. I think you spend such a long time thinking about someone and when they are there in person your mind has to adjust to what they are really like.

We came to my flat here in Tampines and got some McDonald's Delivery, which became a nightly ritual. It was really fun showing him around and bringing him to all the places I tell him about on the phone, like the hawker centre where I get my dinner every night and the waffle place I get my Kaya waffles. Ben loved them and now understands why I rave about how tasty kaya is. He even brought some home with him.

For a big chunk of his visit we stayed at my friend's flat while he was in Borneo so that we could stay out of the way of my roomates and their elderly father who is staying with us now.

Aside from enjoying our time together, it was really cool to see Ben be able to use his Chinese. I remember one day when we went to a hakwer centre and he ordered in Mandarin from the hawker uncle and the entire place went quiet as people turned to look at the ang moh who had just used such perfect Chinese. People loved talking to him about China and how he learned Chinese (he taught himself) and it was great to see him so in his element. People are still telling me how perfect his dialect is and how impressed they are.

It turns out that the girl who does my nails and doesn't speak English is from Putian, the same place Ben lived while he was there and they spent the whole time I was getting my nails done chatting.

In terms of the fun touristy things we did, we spent a few nights at Marina Bay looking at the skyline and gambling in the casino. We went on the Singapore Flyer, to the Science Centre to see Snow City and to Sentosa one night to check it out. We explored Little India and Arab Street and I started to get an actual sense of where things are in relation to each other. We also spent a lot of time shopping as there are so many malls here. While he was here we also ate a lot, we had French, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Japanese, Korean, Western, Italian, Indian and Malay food and we enjoyed it a lot. One night we tried out Mario Batali's restaurant in Marina Bay Sands and it was fantastic. The lovely thing about Singapore is the array of amazing food you can find and I can tell you I gained a few pounds while he was here! He also came into my school one afternoon while I had my drama students preparing for our Founder's Day presentation and they are still talking about his perfect Chinese accent and how "hot" he is. I can't say I disagree.

We also spent a night at a great hotel on Orchard Road called the Quincy which has a really cool pool that looks out over the city. Ben's mum sent us the cash, so thank you Ruth Anne! We kept saying how much we wanted to live there because it was so nice.

It was also great to introduce the guy I talk about all the time to my friends here and to meet Ben's friend Jocelyn who moved to Singapore after she taught with him in Putian. I think it was really cool for them to catch up and get to see each other and it was really nice to meet another of Ben's friends.

Overall, it was just super relaxing to have a holiday together and spend some time chilling out. I read some books, we watched a lot of ER and slept in every day. Not having to think about the 12 hour time difference or co-ordinate phone calls was a wonderful break from the reality we have both been living for the past three months.

Saying goodbye was really tough, and I won't soon forget the pain I felt as I watched him walk away from me and back to my flat to gather his stuff and catch his plane while I had to return to work. But I'm really grateful that we had the time together and it's amazing to me that so soon after I left I was able to see him again and have him experience the life I've built here. I feel a lot less lonely since he's been here and my room feels more like a place that we've shared and less like a fortress of solitude. It helps that he hid about a dozen little notes with sweet messages on them all through my stuff that I am still trying to find.

Neither of us knows what is going to happen in the future for us, or when we or if we are ever going to be able to be together but having the memories of his time here with me is something I can't put a price on.

White Magic

This week was my first week teaching. It will be a week I remember for the rest of my career and in all likelihood I will look back and shake my head at how little I knew. However, I can say that tonight when I got home from work I felt more tired and more satisfied than I have possibly ever felt.

This week I went into a class and an Indian boy and his friends were making strange hand gestures at the back of the class. Being from Canada, I told them to stop doing obscene things and to focus on the class. They giggled and kept doing what they were doing. I soon discovered that what I thought were hand gestures resembling sex were magic tricks. The Indian boy smiled at me when I told him how good he was and told me he is "Black Magic" at which point I lost it laughing.

The hardest part of teaching for me are the gaps when you don't know what to do with your class. Usually this comes down to poor planning and this is the part when kids start acting up. Not having much of my teaching materials yet I spent a lot of this week putting my improv skills to the test and finding ways to engage and occupy my students while I tried to figure out what exactly I should be teaching them and as they say here  "how".

The biggest thing though of course was our school's Founder's Day which was today. Monday I said goodbye to Ben on my lunch break, and took my broken heart back to class to pull myself together and carry on being a teen ranger. Tuesday through to Thursday I found myself at school until 7 or 8 pm working on rehearsing our performance that I wrote and spent the last month rehearsing with our drama students.

The most stressful part were the myriad of last minute changes suggested to our script by the head of aesthetics and our vice principal. However, I chose to have a positive attitude and with the changes the show became something really exciting and enjoyable.

I can proudly say that this day was a success. The drama students really took a lot away from the experience as they shared with me today afterwards and it shone through in their performance. Many people in the school approached me to say how impressed they were with the work that was done and I will tell you that I am incredibly proud.

It was an insane week, full of many setbacks and challenges, but it wouldn't be theatre if it was easy and at the end of the day I can sleep tonight knowing that I taught something this week. I accomplished what I set out to do. In this one day, I consolled a girl who was crying about her relationship with her mom and sent her home with strategies to talk to her about their issues, I figured out a million tech problems, I stretched students to challenge themselves and prove that they were up to the task at hand, I showed the leaders at my school that I can constructively use criticism and keep my eye on the purpose of being there (which is to teach our students something above all else) and I went through the agony of watching my kids perform knowing that once they were there it was up to them to save themselves if things went wrong and watched them do just that.

It could have been a terrible week, I could be depressed, heartbroken, worn out and lonely. But right now more than anything I can say I am proud. My student might call himself Black Magic, but goddamn it, I'm White Magic.

I am Alive!

Hello blogosphere! I know I have left you all abandoned and such, and for that I apologize. I assure you if you had my schedule you would understand! As they say here "So beezee ah!".

My first week of teaching like a real person has been insane, lots of running around and trying to figure out where I need to be, what I need to be doing and how exactly to convince a group of 40 kids that they should listen to me. On top of that, I've got extra duties, and the Founder's Day presentation I have been working on with my students for the last month is on Saturday so of course everything is stressful and seems like it is going to fall apart because that's how theatre goes.

All of this distracts me quite effectively from that horrible lonely monster waiting for me back at my flat at the end of the day. The thing is, since Ben came, I actually feel like the monster has become a small little mouse. It's still there, and it can make some noise and mess with me, but most of the time I can ignore it. I think that the depression and culture shock I was going through the last little while is really diminished and it's only now that I can see clearly that it was really a depression at all.

So, with that, I Go Forward (our school's motto and the title of our drama piece) and continue to tread water in the thrashing sea I find myself in, hoping to keep my head about the water. I promise that I will come on and write about all of the lovely things that Ben and I did while he was here on the weekend, though not Saturday of course because I am working that entire day. Luckily Monday is a holiday. Oi!

I'm Alive!

I promise, I am still alive. Ben is here until next Tuesday so we are going to be squeezing all of the good stuff and fun out of our time together while we still have it. For the last week or so we were staying at my friend's flat where we didn't really have access to Internet which is why I haven't updated this here blog. Also, I was too busy having fun. I am loading some pictures onto Photobucket that I will put up here and I will write all about all the cool stuff we did when I am back to the daily grind.

http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Singapore/Ben%20in%20Singapore/

Outraging Modesty

Those of you who have read my previous blog will say "Ah, there's the Bea we know and love..." when you read this post.

If you know me, you know I'm rather a feminist. Now, I am going to take this moment to explain to you what my personal definition of this term is (which happens to be the actual dictionary-style one, but is often not fully understood or known by a lot of people whose concept is clouded by lots of BS from the media etc.) and tell you that in my concept it means that I believe that men and women and people who fall outside of that category all together all deserve rights. I also happen to believe that in spite of the amazing strides our gender has made in the recent past we will have quite a bit of work to do to even things out and make sure that things like being paid the same money for the same work, or ensuring that educational opportunities and the right to consent to what is done to our bodies are made equal for both genders.

All of that being said I would like to tell you what things look like to me right now here on the ground in Singapore. The other day I read an article in the Straits Times, the newspaper here in Singapore that contained an interesting phrase. It said something about a man getting intoxicated at a bar and which then "lead to him outraging the modesty" of a female server for which he is being charged. You see, outraging someones modesty here in Singapore is a crime. One that I have often giggled at because I find the language rather humorous however I stopped and gave this some thought.

I think this law probably stems to some extent to Muslim laws about women, and the notion that their modesty be protected (case in point, women who wear head scarves or burqua) which then got me thinking about the women in religion course I took in university where we talked about how pro-women most large religions were before people came along and eventually turned them into being not so pro-women. This extends to Islam, where Mohammed (or The Prophet, if you will) can actually in many instances be seen to have been rather pro-sister.

The assumption made here ladies, is that we have this innate "modesty" which is a right and that if someone messes with it then they are committing a crime. As a feminist, I kinda like the cut of that jib. We spend a lot of time fighting for the right to sexual expression and freedom (hello SlutWalk you kinky harlot) in whatever way we choose and I think we sometimes sort of forget that women also should have the right to modesty. Here in Singapore, you walk through a crowd and to your left you might see an incredibly gorgeous, tight, short dress,  8 inch heel wearing Chinese goddess and on the other you might see a beautiful Malay lady kitted out with a beautiful headscarf and long pants and sleeves. Both of these women have the right to express themselves and their sexuality however they please and they both have the right to whatever degree of "modesty" they see fit. Now that my friends is kind of a cool thought.

I am in no way arguing here that Singapore is some sort of Gender Utopia. If I were to get pregnant tomorrow, as a civil servant I am entitled to three months  of maternity leave. Yes, three. And that is only if I am married. I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do if I'm not. I guess have my kid on the weekend and make sure I show up on Monday? No one at the Ministry of Education seemed able to answer me when I asked, mostly out of feminist indignation what would happen if a single woman became pregnant.

Though, another interesting social state here is that men are required to enter two years of service in the military here. Yes, we can talk about how women are just as capable and the other implications of this policy. But the interesting thing that I hadn't thought about until I was speaking with one of the trainee teachers at my school is that he is now two years behind the girls who grew up with him in primary school. A woman at our school is a full-fledged teacher and she went to primary school with this guy, but he was in the Navy for his required two years and is just now finishing his training. Does that give women a bit of a leg up? Does it even out the difference because of time we may take off (our whopping three months!) if we have children? I'm not sure, but it's something to think about.

Anyhow, these are things I think about when I am wandering around and looking at stuff and I do so like to write about them. On a side note, if you've ever been to the wonderful Hillside Festival in Guelph and are familiar with the ANTICIPATION sign that leads down the curve of the hill onto the island when you first get off the bus, I kind of feel like every day that has passed this week was passing another letter of that sign when you hear the drums rise up in the night air, and start to smell the Hillside food smells until you turn that corner and you look down into the valley that the island lies in, the lights reflecting off the water and you know: it's party time kids.

inate right to modesty
slutwalk

Holidays

Today's drama rehearsal was cancelled because half of my kids have strep throat and I thought better to give them today off to rest and work tomorrow when they might be better than to only have 2 people trying to work on a show. Which gives me the chance to catch up with my dear blogosphere!

This week I helped our Sec 4 and 5 students prepare for their O level oral exams, which meant lots of scolding kids waiting for exams and organizing who went where. It wasn't too bad considering I had to come in on a "holiday" to do it, and I worked with my drama students in the afternoon.

I had a really good time working with the drama kids, it was a cool chance to actually do some of that drama teaching I always talk so much about living to do, and it was a good lesson for me in turning something crappy into something good and fun. Initially I was worried about having to work on my holiday but I chose to look at it as an opportunity to show the school that I can teach drama and that it's a good idea to give me tasks like this and it was a good chance to get to know some of the drama kids a little better.

We spent some time chatting about the history of Singapore and I told them things about the history of Canada because they always have questions about it. I think I spent 15 minutes discussing snow and explaining what it's like and what seasons are like because none of these kids have lived somewhere that you have seasons. They think daylight savings time is funny and toboganning and snowpants are cool.

The big story in my life of course is that Ben is arriving here tomorrow night. As you can imagine there has been a lot of dancing about, giggling and general excitement. Also: apartment cleaning. His flight leaves tomorrow afternoon Canada time which is tonight Singapore time, and he will be here around midnight Singapore time on Friday night.

I am super pumped people. Super. Pumped.

Photos and Videos

The much awaited Malaysia photos are here: http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Singapore/Malaysia/

As well, I had the pleasure of watching some awesome Singaporean line dancers last night and took some videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp_zPM2ksyk&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O28FXtt0_nA

The second one being my favorite. This week I am still working at school, we are doing an English Language programme that I need to be in school for and I am continuing my work with my drama kids on our Founder's Day presentation. Hopefully I will be very busy so the last few days before Ben arrives go quickly.

Most of the people I know here are going away for the holiday or already have so it's going to be a little lonely here this week, but that's what ER and the Sims are for. I'm getting really excited for Ben to arrive and the closer it gets the more excited I get. I am hoping we will get to do lots of things around the island and I will hopefully have some great new pictures to post for you soon. In the meantime, enjoy the glory of the Singaporean line dance. I know I did.

Malaysia

Today our staff went on a trip to Malaysia. It was an exciting experience to go to another country and it felt sort of like going to the States for a day from Canada. It started with me being detained before we even got out of Singapore because I left my wallet in the bus thinking I just needed my passport only to find that they needed to see my employment pass. Fortunately, it wasn't very long before we were all back on the road.

We had breakfast of Nasi Lemak, which is rice cooked in coconut milk and panadan which was pretty tasty and then we did a batik painting workshop. The rest of the day we spent going to different places to shop, I got some Malaysian coffee and ate a whole bunch of durian.

It was cool to see another part of this area of the world but I did find by the end of the day I was looking forward to coming back to Singapore. Once we crossed the border I was happy to see the familiar sights of our buses and streets.

Ben arrives next week and I am getting super excited about it. The next week I am spending pretty much still at school with different programs and organizing my drama students for our Founder's Day performance that I wrote the script for.

Makalu

Somtimes, life kicks you when you're down. Like today for example. I woke up to the crappy news that my man did not get accepted to uni here in Singapore. Later in the day I found out that my old doggie in Canada, Makalu is not doing well and is going to be meeting the big dog in the sky tomorrow.

When I left Canada I knew it was likely I would not be seeing him again, he's outlived most dogs of his breed. It is still heartbreaking not to be able to say a proper goodbye to a creature who has always been an amazing companion to my family.

Mak is a giant Alaskan Malamute and if you aren't a part of our family he may seem like he is about to eat your face. However, if you are part of the family you will know that he is the most easy going, gentle spirited dog you could ever hope for. He loves to stand beside you in the kitchen and lean his hundred pounds or so into your knees while you stand or sleep at your feet while you watch television.

His favorite game was always to play goalie in the kitchen when we would try and kick his toys past him into the dining room. He is also an adept singer, enjoying classic Elvis tunes and "Happy New Year."

I am very grateful that he came into our lives and that we had him for as long as we did. He's been an unfailing companion and his big furry neck was always there to hug and hold whenever I felt sad. There's no neck to hold on to now so I will just have to hold on to the memories I have of him instead.

New Cultural Experiences

Coming to Singapore I have been exposed to a number of new cultural experiences. I am now adept at eating with chopsticks to the point that I don't like using a fork anymore, I have increased my wretched grasp of Chinese to the point that I can sometimes discern what people are saying when they are speaking and I can vaguely communicate a few rough ideas. I have tried lots of new foods and begun to get my head around the iteration of English that is used here.

This week I had my first health situation while in Singapore and had to attend a clinic. It wasn't too serious, and you don't want the deets, but I had the exciting new cultural experience of attempting to provide a urine sample over a squat toilet.

For my Western friends who are unfamiliar with these, they are essentially a hole in the ground that you, as the name would suggest, squat over. Strangely enough, it makes aiming for a little cup slightly easier.

Don't worry, I am ok, and I found that the doctor here was very nice and that my Public Service card worked to provide me with coverage. I just thought it was a good example of how no matter where you go here you never know when you will be confronted with a new challenge.

(15 days now until Ben comes to Singapore!!!! And next week our school goes on a staff retreat to Malaysia, so I will make sure to take lots of pictures and post them on photobucket for you all to see!)

Preparation Time

My Ben Comes to Singapore Countdown is on Day 18. This weekend I made the quest to IKEA to get a bedding solution for when he comes. The problem you see is that I currently sleep in a single bed. Now, I won't complain because for about six months before I came to Singapore I was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, so any bed is an upgrade. However, two Canadians are not about to fit together in a single bed. So, it was off to IKEA for some solution.

I love IKEA. Just so you know, when I was moving here I googled to see if there were certain shops here and when I saw that IKEA was in Singapore I knew that living here was going to be okay. I have outfitted my room in IKEA and I absolutely love it. When I have survived hard times in the past I realized that making the space I live in nice and clean and pretty is a quick way to make yourself feel better. Having a nice plant, or some scented candles, or even just some good colors are a quick way to feel brighter and happier.

I managed to get an AS IS mattress that I can put under my bed while I'm not using it and on the floor when we are using it. I also got a whole bunch of candles and a plant and some cookware so that I can start making my own dinner.

I also got Ben an MRT card so that when he arrives we will be able to take the bus and the MRT around Singapore on our adventures. I have a whole list of things I think we might like to do, like go to the Casino, the Botanic Gardens, the Singapore Flyer, Haji Lane, Little India, Sentosa, East Coast Park Beach and more. I'm getting very excited for his visit and the time we are going to be able to spend together.

So that's pretty much the excitement in my life right now. Iain is leaving to go back to the UK for the month this weekend so I will probably spend the next two weeks being relatively lonely, though I might see if some of the other expat teachers I know will be around for a while to go out next weekend.

Field Trip!

Now that exams are over, and marking is over there is sort of a strange lull in between now and the end of school and start of holidays. Students are checking their exams scripts to make sure that there were no errors in the marking of them and this leaves me once more loafing about in the staffroom and not really having much to do. Which is why I'm ripe for the pickings when teachers need people to undertake other tasks.

This is how I ended up on a bus today with 8 kids and 11 pieces of art headed to the other side of Singapore to deliver some art pieces for a show that the kids had won a place in. My history of field trips is rather sordid (involving me alone in the Eaton's Centre with 20 kids from Gananoque and a whole lot of fear) but I took on the challenge. I am relying on my new found sense of adventure and Independence and figured if I couldn't manage to corral 8 kids, then how could I expect to corral 40?

The entire thing was really not a very big deal but of course for someone fairly new to Singapore it seems somewhat daunting to try and take a bunch of kids around the Island without anyone else there to rely on as an interpreter or guide.

The only hitch was that one girl was looking rather peaky and when I asked her what was wrong she started saying "sweet" which confused me for a moment until I realized she was having a hypoglycemic episode and needed sugar. No one had anything, and the only sweet I had was a nicorette and I'm not about to feel kids nicotine, so we got the bus uncle to stop at a 7/11 and get her some mentos.

Problem solved!

For the weekend I don't really have any exciting plans other than going to IKEA to get some sort of a mattress for when Ben gets here because I currently sleep on a single bed and there's no way it's going to suffice to support the girth of two Canadians. We'll see if I manage to have any exciting adventures...

Bedroom Intruder!

This little guy was climbing up the wall in my bedroom last night when I came home from a course. I caught him in a plastic container and let him outside my flat into the free world that doesn't involve my bedroom. My friend tells me his is a house gecko. He was rather adorable. For a lizard thing that could have climbed on my face in the night..

The Dali and Van Gogh exhibit was fun, I much preferred the Van Gogh. Dali was a bit too sexually disturbed for my feminist palate. Van Gogh was also a multimedia presentation type thing that was kind of a cool way to show an artist's work and enmesh the audience into an experience that isn't just oggling some art but living inside of it. I am going to bring Ben back to the ArtScience Museum when he comes to visit. (Only 22 days!!) 

I also managed to get my fist sunburn in Singapore which makes me look like a pink ang mo, which I am rather embarrassed of but my friend tells me I look very nice pink. I think that's just because he's black so he thinks other colors are exciting. Most of the people here don't really change color as dramatically as I have managed to. Hopefully it turns into a nice tan in a few days. 

I think I posted the art pictures to my photobucket, so you can check them out! 

Van Gogh and Dali

My awesome new desk was stolen by an unnamed colleague, so I am a few seats over now and just close enough that I can scowl and loudly complain whenever people mention what a nice spot he has.

Today is Vesak Day which is some sort of holiday for some sort of religion and it means that for the fourth consecutive week in a row we have a four day work week. I spent the morning and early afternoon at an Educator's Preview of Salvador Dali and Van Gogh exhibitions at the ArtScience Museum at Marina Bay Sands which was both fun and free. I have posted new pictures of it up on PhotoBucket. Now I am home and shall return to the fresh pile of literature marking I volunteered to mark.

Embracing Your Inner Canadian

My Mom sent me this interview with Dame Edna and k.d. lang which I thought was rather funny and I would share on here. http://www.youtube.com/embed/nW7HLqOgM20

The new staff room at the school was opened on Friday and we were all able to get our first glimpse of our new working space. In Singapore teachers don't have their own classrooms, they have a space in what they call the Staff Room which is like a teacher's office. It's really beautiful and my space is spacious and lovely. I am sitting with mostly other arts teachers which was a bit of a snafu because I am of course considered to be only an English teacher here, but we all know what I am in my heart. Here is a the picture I took of my new workspace:

Blogs

I finished my first round of exam marking and students are currently writing the next round of scripts so I have a bit of time this morning to come on here and post. In the mornings I tend to spend about an hour reading the news, I start with the Straits Times, the newspaper here in Singapore and then I move on to the CBC so that I can see what's afoot back home. When I lived in Canada it seems I was much less interested in what was going on there but now that I don't I like to know what's going on. I check the news for Ottawa, Toronto and Windsor usually every morning because I have lived in all of these places and have loved ones there that I like to check on. However, CBC seems to think that I am in BC because of my current location so it tends to give me BC news first.

Today there was an interesting story about a blogger who had cancer and wrote his last letter to the world. You can read his beautiful last words here, and it got me thinking about the reality that this blog, and the one before it, are my digital legacy. I already go back and read blog posts from years ago, or when I particularly miss Ben I go back and read what I wrote about him in those early, confusing days when we both liked each other and didn't think they other one liked us back. It made me wonder what it will be like in the years to come, looking back on this blog and if I will one day show my kids the stuff I wrote when I went to Singapore. I wonder if one day when I am gone people who loved me may look back on this as a record of my mind and if this will become more than just a way for me to tell you all back home what I'm doing, but also as it's own entity that will live on past me.

I remember backing up my old blog and being struck that I had hundreds of pages of writing, as I never even consciously blogged, I just sat down and vomited out whatever was streaming through my head. But at the end of that I see that what I managed to create was actually something of some significance and something to be proud of. I suppose only time will tell what becomes of the blog but for now it's been a comfort and a good way to start the legacy I will leave behind.

Two Months

Today marks two months since I first touched down on this little Island. It feels like it's been much longer than that and working at Starbucks and hanging out in Kingston, walking through miserable snow seems like a distant memory.

Thinking back on leaving it was one of the hardest things I've done. Walking through the gate into this world was one of the most painful, exciting, sad things I've ever done. Being this far away from home and the people who love me hasn't been easy but it gets a little better as time passes. I miss Canada deeply, I long for the beautiful time of year I know it is there when the snow melts and the air is fresh and the trees are budding. It's getting hotter here and the humidity is oppressive but I like the sunshine and my skin is turning a golden brown.

I guess this adventure is still just starting but it's certainly been an interesting one so far. Thanks for following and for reading my blog, even if it isn't always the most lucid thought train around...

Three Day Weekend: Round Three

Now I wouldn't want anyone to get the idea that we don't work very hard here in Singapore, but I can't resist the chance to brag that I have another three day weekend ahead of me. I have absolutely no plans yet, and I know I'm going to have at least 80 exam papers to mark after the students write them this afternoon. However, I really love that I've had this many long weekends because the weekend is the time that I can keep a crazy weird sleep schedule and be awake to call my friends and loved ones back in Canada. 12 hours is a very weird time difference and it usually means that during the week if I want to talk to people I have to speak to them early in my morning before work, which is their evening, or right before I go to bed which is their morning. Either way there's usually a lot of sleepiness and not a lot of clarity of thought. So on the weekend I tend to nap in the afternoons so that I can stay up later at night and get the prime afternoon time when I can Skype people back home.

Exam marking is probably going to be eating my soul soon so if I don't post on here in the next little but I assure you it's not because I'm dead or anything, just busy. Hopefully I will get a bit of a break somewhere in there.

Snoopy Dance

You know when Snoopy does that dance when he's super happy? That's how my heart feels right now because Ben booked his ticket to come and visit me here in Singapore for my June holidays!! That means that for more than two weeks I will get to have Ben here and we will be able to explore Singapore and eat lots of food and just be super happy. I'll have two weeks of not having to figure out time differences and work schedules and sleep schedules to try and get to talk to him. Needless to say, I'm super pumped.

Also, for our school's staff retreat I just found out that we are going to Malaysia for a day of activities as sort of like a staff bonding thing which I think is really cool. I haven't been to Malaysia yet so I'm excited to go. How many people can say they go to Malaysia for their staff retreats?

At the school right now the students are writing exams which means that there aren't any classes, instead there are mass exams writing times. I have invigilated a few exams which essentially means wandering about giving kids stink eye if they look suspicious and making sure no one is up to anything dodgy. It's a bit strange to be on the other side of the exam, after spending so many years writing them myself.

As well, this weekend is yet another long weekend. If you've been counting that makes three in a row. So I am happy to have another extra day to loaf about and Iain got a bathing suit last weekend so maybe we will finally find out way to a beach without getting rained on.

Still getting showered in random spurts of support from back home and it's making things easier every day. Knowing there are lots of eyes on me cheering me on makes it all the more important that I rock this thing. Thanks everyone!

Election in Canada

I know I just posted a little while ago, but I'm at my desk right now listening to CBC Radio online and I want to give a shout out to Canada for having an awesome voter turnout, for the many people who voted in this election for the first time and for the fact that it looks like the NDP is going to be the official opposition. I feel very proud of my nation right now.

Never Alone

As you may have noticed, I've been feeling a little down lately. Homesickness is starting to catch up to me and the grating element of being in a long distance relationship is starting to take its toll. However, as I have been reminded time and time again when things get rough, I am never alone.

I would like to send a shout out to all of the people on facebook who responded to me posting that I wanted to go to a Shopper's Drug Mart and especially Nicole who actually went to one, bought me the stuff I needed and sent it out in a package. When it arrives I will post pictures and I am sure to send her an awesome package of cool Asian stuff.

Also, I'd like to shout out to Christina Steinhaus, who is there for me no matter how far away we are from each other and if I Skype her with tears in my eyes she immediately tells Louie to get out of the way and gets to work on making me feel better.

I'd like to thank my Dad for always being there for me and caring enough about me to be worried all the time. I can't imagine how scary it is the be a parent with a kid in Asia but I am grateful that he loves me and trusts me enough to let me come here.

I'd like to thank my Mom, who Skypes me with a banana in her hand and checks out if there are music festivals in Australia when I say I'm sad to miss Hillside this year.

I'd like to thank Kirstyn Logan for giving up her breaks at Starbucks to Viber me and see how I'm doing and for calling me when I'm on a patio on Emerald Hill because she reminds me that I have good friends when I need to be reminded the most.

I'd like to thank Nicky for always sending me updates on her random adventures, even though I'm on the other side of the world. If I didn't get those updates I wouldn't feel like I knew what was going on in the world.

Thank you everyone on facebook who comments on my pictures and tells me they are proud of me. Thank you Kat Quinlan for sending me a message to remind me that I can be a good friend to people and that there are good people who love me.

I'd like to thank Dave Harland for Skyping me and sharing his happiness with me, I'm glad that you are in a good place and I'm glad that we have stayed such good friends.

Thanks to James, to Scott, to Ariel, to Micheline, to Tim Johnston, to Ali Foster, to Juanita, to Ruth Anne, to Denise and Marlon, and everyone else I might have forgot who has been so supportive of me on this crazy quest.

Lastly, thank you to Ben who loved me enough to encourage me to leave him, who takes the effort every day to call me and manage his time around a 12 hour's difference, who finds a way to make me smile no matter how down I feel and who send me love letters when I say I feel insecure. Thank you for thinking I'm beautiful, and for believing in me enough to support me on this adventure.

It's all of you who constantly remind me that I'm not alone in the world, not even close and I never, ever will be. Thank you so much for the support and the myriad of ways that you have all helped me to be a little stronger or a little better. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

Makeover!

This week I've been feeling sort of down and missing home so my friend decided I needed a makeover. He started with some new shoes and convinced me that I needed something with a little heel. I'm not the heel wearing sort, but I needed professional shoes that cover my tattoo for work so I got them. I found that while I was walking about I actually felt kind of fancy. I guess the lesson of the week has been dress for sucess and that I'm a hot little lady so I ought to dress the part. Seeing as I'm a professional with a salary and stuff now, so I let him take over the other parts too.

We ended up going yesterday to Little India for facials and to have our eyebrows threaded (highlight being Iain getting his done and watching him flinch and curse while the lady ripped out his eyebrow hairs, but he was a good sport about the whole thing) then we went and got some new clothes for me, two of which are nice dresses. I've also not been much for wearing dresses and really not one for showing leg, always opting for shorts that went down past my knees. But dang it, it's time to be a lady and stuff. So I got some nice dresses for work that will go with my heels and we finished it off with a new hairstyle, and a new colour.

The thing about Asian women is that they are incredibly beautiful and largely really well put together. Walking down the street I feel like I giant hobo next to these heavily coiffed, perfectly put together paragons of femininity. So I'm trying to up my game a little while still being me and I think that this weekend helped me get closer to there. Feeling confident isn't just about knowing you're awesome, because I already do, but it also comes from the way that you present yourself. So I guess my focus now is showing the world on the outside what a badass I am on the inside.

Exams and Stages

Today is the Thursday before our second long weekend in a row. I have spent much of my time this week marking papers and assignments of the class I started working with as well as the classes that I have been observing. It is crazy marking time in schools here right now with many teachers buried under massive piles of papers and test scripts. Yesterday afternoon I attended a conference on behalf of my RO because she was unable to go.

It is interesting for me to see the content of educational conferences here and while I still feel that I do not completely grasp the Singapore context I am starting to get a hazy concept of what the system looks like here. I find it somewhat funny to be in workshops discussing Vygotsky and Social Constructivist Pedagogy when I just spent the last five years sitting on the floor in DRED discussing these things with Tina and Gail. However, I am glad to see these things here and it is a familiar space for me even if it feels like I'm back in lecture halls that I worked so hard to escape.

Exam time here at St. Hilda's starts next week and I will see what this looks like and how it is carried out. I expect that I may be invigilating exams and possibly helping to mark them so it will be a good chance for me to get a better idea of what the tests that the students spend so much time and effort preparing for really look like.

Tonight I am going to the first meeting of the Stage Club here in Singapore that I have signed in to become a member of. I am very excited to have a possible place to be on a stage or to at least work creatively with a theatre group. I am trying to bring forward lessons from my schooling and I know from ACE that it is important to maintain my artistic practice even in the midst of the swamp of my career. And so I shall venture forth to discover what this adventure may have in store for me. I will be sure to keep you all updated.

On another note, it is now 43 days until Ben touches down in Singapore for our two week holiday. I am incredibly excited to have him visit and to be able to show him around this island that I am slowly starting to call home.