I realise that I have been back in Canada now for almost a month and I have yet to update this here blog. I think it's partly to do with the fact that it is about my adventures in Singapore and that time is now over, and partly to do with the colossal feat I have been undertaking to create a life up from the ashes that were the remnants of my leaving.
However, I think I might be ready now to post my final thoughts about everything standing as I am now firmly on the ground and having had some time to get my head round the whole thing.
Upon arriving back here in Canada there were a few things that struck me. I think it's an interesting perspective to be able to have the experience of being a foreigner in your own land, if only for a few days while your mind switches channels. Seeing Canada from that perspective has been very interesting.
Here are the things I noticed the most:
White people all look the same
We have soooooo much sky here
The empathy that is entrenched in our culture permeates everything
After having talked with my friend Ash who lived in Ghana for a while, I have found out that this white people look the same thing is not unusual. For the first couple of days I was back, all of the people I saw looked like people I went to high school with or people that I went to university with. I think I'm just not used to seeing white people's facial features so they ping in my head as being familiar.
I never realised in Singapore how little you see of the sky as much as I did in my Dad's car driving down the QEW. Things here are so much flatter and you aren't surrounded on every side by towering buildings and you suddenly realise how big the sky really is. It was kind of like that first time you go up in an airplane and you go above the clouds and you realise that it's always sunny, it's just the cloud that block it out. If that makes any sense at all...
Finally, and I think most importantly, the empathy in our culture. Since coming back two surveys have been released that have said that Singaporean are both the least emotional and least happy people in the world. Now, whether that is really true or not is of course debatable, but I do find that there is a distinct lack of caring for others. Not to say that Singaporeans are jerks, they're not, it's just...they don't really seem to feel a lot of compassion. Canadians brim with it. Even in Toronto, where people are notoriously assholes, it is more common for people to return things when someone drops them, help someone up who has slipped and fallen, say hello to strangers or ask them how their day is, give money to people asking on the street and respond to marketing that speaks to your sympathy. All of these things I have seen and noticed since coming back and all of them are things I either rarely or never saw in Singapore. You kind of forget that it's out there in a way, but it's the hallmark of what makes this country my home I think.
I have also seen a few of my friends and I feel so overwhelmed at the caring, wonderful natures that they have. I truly have a community of people here that care and are caregivers, who nurture and love and take care of people as their job, or just as part of the very fabric of who they are. It's not just because we are Canadian, I think it's also just who we are, but man, it is good to be back in the warm, loving arms of my home.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Goodbye
Today is the last day I will be in Singapore. It's not really sunk in yet and it still seems really surreal. I've said emotional goodbyes to my school and my friends and I'm almost ready to go. My single box for shipping has been picked up and most of the things on my to-do list are complete. Now it's just a question of packing the last pieces of my life and getting to the airport tomorrow morning.
It's been an amazing, painful, exciting and lonely time. I've made friends and lost friends, I've seen parts of the world I'd only dreamed of and I've learned a lot about myself and the world around me. I've grown into a teacher and I've challenged myself to the limit of what I thought I was possible of. I'm incredibly proud of the accomplishments I've made.
It's time to go home though. It will be cold, I will be poor, I'm sure I will be in culture shock for a while. But there's truly no place like home. I can't wait to see my friends again and be back in the warm community of home.
I'm grateful to the kindness people here have shown me, the acceptance I have found and the inner strength it's taken me to get this far. It doesn't seem real that I will be leaving soon, and I don't know if it will for a few days. It feels like one life is ending and another is starting and there is sadness and excitement with that.
For now, goodbye Singapore and thank you for everything. I have seen beautiful things, painful things and a whole new world here. I see change coming to Singapore and slowly things in the education system here are getting better. I truly believe that Singapore is going to make it to their vision one day and I hope that I get to visit so that I can see it.
It's been an amazing, painful, exciting and lonely time. I've made friends and lost friends, I've seen parts of the world I'd only dreamed of and I've learned a lot about myself and the world around me. I've grown into a teacher and I've challenged myself to the limit of what I thought I was possible of. I'm incredibly proud of the accomplishments I've made.
It's time to go home though. It will be cold, I will be poor, I'm sure I will be in culture shock for a while. But there's truly no place like home. I can't wait to see my friends again and be back in the warm community of home.
I'm grateful to the kindness people here have shown me, the acceptance I have found and the inner strength it's taken me to get this far. It doesn't seem real that I will be leaving soon, and I don't know if it will for a few days. It feels like one life is ending and another is starting and there is sadness and excitement with that.
For now, goodbye Singapore and thank you for everything. I have seen beautiful things, painful things and a whole new world here. I see change coming to Singapore and slowly things in the education system here are getting better. I truly believe that Singapore is going to make it to their vision one day and I hope that I get to visit so that I can see it.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Japan
Look. I just don't think I have the writing prowess to accurately capture the sheer experience of Japan for you all. I would like to, I really would. But man, there is just so much that is... indescribable.
I think I've settled on giving you small glimpses into experiences and feelings I had while I was there in some attempt to give you a window into what it was like. So, I hope this kind of works. If not, I'm sorry.
-Flying on my own, exhilarating feeling of being truly free and alone, fragile, vulnerable, independent and like I've actually attained the feeling I longed for all those times I felt like packing it all in and just disappearing from the life I had. This is me, doing that shit for the next week.
-Landing in the completely foreign world of Japan, the language is completely different, feeling like I wish they were just speaking Chinese cause at least I understand some of that, realising how weird it is that I understand some Chinese now
-This feeling of floating through life like a bobber on the surface of a pond cause there's no meaning to assign to the things that would hold you here, in this place, in this moment. You can't read the signs, understand the announcements, figure out what the food on the menu in the picture is, what the street names are, what direction is up, down, or all around. All you can do is hope that you read enough about this place to get around, that the transit map you have is accurate and that the vague route you've charted for yourself on what seems like literally hundreds of subway lines is going to get you to the strange place with the different name that sounds like nothing you have a context for.
-Being ok, making it there, and feeling accomplished as fuck.
-Arriving in Shibuya, finding the crossing and feeling like there is this pulsing, throbbing, life coming up from the pavement through your shoes and into your blood
-People everywhere, lights flashing, music blaring, stores everywhere, red light, white light, a beautiful hustle, the world standing still while everyone waits for a light to change and then, suddenly, the explosion of hundreds of bodies throbbing out and across this intersection that looks like daylight from the neon beaming down on it
-Feeling like the other stuff I've done in Asia were the water wings to prepare me for Japan. Crossing the street with oncoming motos in Vietnam, listening to a million words in languages I don't know how to speak, zebra crossings, the subway lines in Hong Kong, China, Singapore, London, Malaysia, Toronto all coming together for this: the apotheosis of subway lines
-Constantly being struck by the sheer graciousness of the Japanese. People bowing to me, saying thank you in the politest ways, taking such good customer care of me that I feel like a queen, literally running in heels to pick up a computer printout for my Shinkansen ticket. Wanting not to compare these people to the people I've encountered in Singapore and China, but not being able to help feeling so damn impressed with the people of Japan
-Being awkward and unable to speak the language, feeling ashamed of myself daily for my intrusion and ignorance
-Walking through Harajuku, blaring music, insane colours then turning a corner into Meiji shrine and finding a peaceful, beautiful forest, with streams and trees and animals and birds and a beautiful, almost silent shrine that transcends religion
-Strolling through the gardens of the Imperial palace after finding my way through the concrete jungle to get there, being weirded out by the juxtaposition of the buildings in the background rising up above the beautiful, landscaped perfection of a Japanese garden, then falling in love with the possibilities of Tokyo
-Looking up and seeing layer after layer of humanity, highways, train tracks, office buildings, pedestrian walkways, elevators rising through the floors, signs peering out through the cracks and thinking how many layers of humanity you could find in Tokyo would fill a lifetime
-Shinkansen, going super fast, looking out at the beauty of the countryside, struck by how green everything is. Announcement: "No smoking will be allowed on this train...except for in the following cars:...." being fascinated with the culture of smoking here, there are designated smoking areas and you don't see anyone walking around and smoking out on the street, but smoking is allowed in almost every restaurant, hotel lobby and even on the train to Kyoto
-Kyoto, is almost too beautiful a place to describe for you
-When I got there, I felt depressed and lost because I didn't have a lonely plant book for it. Then I went to the tourism information and the world opened up for me. Funny how information is so essential to the enjoyment of a place for me
-Taking the bus everywhere, seeing temple, shrine, temple, shrine, bam bam bam bam, feeling like my eyes aren't enough to take in the beauty, the greenery, the fineness and grace and elegance involved in every leaf, bit of moss, carefully curving branch involved in these beautiful places
-Walking through Gion for hours, the strange dichotomy inside of not wanting to be a gawking white person looking at a culture through a glass pane, not wanting to feel like the Maiko who walked by me was an animal in the zoo for me to observe, but still having the uncontrollable fascination. Struggling with the feeling of being some sort of sanctimonious hipster prick for making judgments like that on people who are tourists when I am one myself, realising that this whole thing was stupid to be thinking about and probably the result of being alone with no one to talk to for days on days and days.
-Sushi and Japanese curry and beautiful light Japanese beers and loving sitting in restaurants and reading books and enjoying food and being completely on my own, selfish schedule that decides when and where and how I do things and not having to wait for anyone else to finish at a place, or having the feeling that I have to stay for long enough to seem to other people like I've truly appreciated a place
-Slaking my thirst for beauty like some sort of dazed drunkard, rushing from temple to temple and not taking more than half an hour at each because that's as long as I wanted to take, thanks
-Everything is beautiful. Even when its ugly. Feeling like I will break down and cry at the splendor of nature.
-Going into a hot spring and being naked with all of these Japanese ladies, feeling super out of place and trying not to look too much at the naked ladies, but needing to so that I know what the hell the protocol here is, cause the Lonely Planet said some stuff, but I still don't want to do some heinous, offensive, white people thing that will ruin the peace and tranquility of this strange naked people place. Feeling very pink.
I don't know. Maybe that's too much. Maybe it's not enough. I guess it sums up some of it.
And, I have lots and lots of pictures, here they are:
http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Japan%202012/
I think I've settled on giving you small glimpses into experiences and feelings I had while I was there in some attempt to give you a window into what it was like. So, I hope this kind of works. If not, I'm sorry.
-Flying on my own, exhilarating feeling of being truly free and alone, fragile, vulnerable, independent and like I've actually attained the feeling I longed for all those times I felt like packing it all in and just disappearing from the life I had. This is me, doing that shit for the next week.
-Landing in the completely foreign world of Japan, the language is completely different, feeling like I wish they were just speaking Chinese cause at least I understand some of that, realising how weird it is that I understand some Chinese now
-This feeling of floating through life like a bobber on the surface of a pond cause there's no meaning to assign to the things that would hold you here, in this place, in this moment. You can't read the signs, understand the announcements, figure out what the food on the menu in the picture is, what the street names are, what direction is up, down, or all around. All you can do is hope that you read enough about this place to get around, that the transit map you have is accurate and that the vague route you've charted for yourself on what seems like literally hundreds of subway lines is going to get you to the strange place with the different name that sounds like nothing you have a context for.
-Being ok, making it there, and feeling accomplished as fuck.
-Arriving in Shibuya, finding the crossing and feeling like there is this pulsing, throbbing, life coming up from the pavement through your shoes and into your blood
-People everywhere, lights flashing, music blaring, stores everywhere, red light, white light, a beautiful hustle, the world standing still while everyone waits for a light to change and then, suddenly, the explosion of hundreds of bodies throbbing out and across this intersection that looks like daylight from the neon beaming down on it
-Feeling like the other stuff I've done in Asia were the water wings to prepare me for Japan. Crossing the street with oncoming motos in Vietnam, listening to a million words in languages I don't know how to speak, zebra crossings, the subway lines in Hong Kong, China, Singapore, London, Malaysia, Toronto all coming together for this: the apotheosis of subway lines
-Constantly being struck by the sheer graciousness of the Japanese. People bowing to me, saying thank you in the politest ways, taking such good customer care of me that I feel like a queen, literally running in heels to pick up a computer printout for my Shinkansen ticket. Wanting not to compare these people to the people I've encountered in Singapore and China, but not being able to help feeling so damn impressed with the people of Japan
-Being awkward and unable to speak the language, feeling ashamed of myself daily for my intrusion and ignorance
-Walking through Harajuku, blaring music, insane colours then turning a corner into Meiji shrine and finding a peaceful, beautiful forest, with streams and trees and animals and birds and a beautiful, almost silent shrine that transcends religion
-Strolling through the gardens of the Imperial palace after finding my way through the concrete jungle to get there, being weirded out by the juxtaposition of the buildings in the background rising up above the beautiful, landscaped perfection of a Japanese garden, then falling in love with the possibilities of Tokyo
-Looking up and seeing layer after layer of humanity, highways, train tracks, office buildings, pedestrian walkways, elevators rising through the floors, signs peering out through the cracks and thinking how many layers of humanity you could find in Tokyo would fill a lifetime
-Shinkansen, going super fast, looking out at the beauty of the countryside, struck by how green everything is. Announcement: "No smoking will be allowed on this train...except for in the following cars:...." being fascinated with the culture of smoking here, there are designated smoking areas and you don't see anyone walking around and smoking out on the street, but smoking is allowed in almost every restaurant, hotel lobby and even on the train to Kyoto
-Kyoto, is almost too beautiful a place to describe for you
-When I got there, I felt depressed and lost because I didn't have a lonely plant book for it. Then I went to the tourism information and the world opened up for me. Funny how information is so essential to the enjoyment of a place for me
-Taking the bus everywhere, seeing temple, shrine, temple, shrine, bam bam bam bam, feeling like my eyes aren't enough to take in the beauty, the greenery, the fineness and grace and elegance involved in every leaf, bit of moss, carefully curving branch involved in these beautiful places
-Walking through Gion for hours, the strange dichotomy inside of not wanting to be a gawking white person looking at a culture through a glass pane, not wanting to feel like the Maiko who walked by me was an animal in the zoo for me to observe, but still having the uncontrollable fascination. Struggling with the feeling of being some sort of sanctimonious hipster prick for making judgments like that on people who are tourists when I am one myself, realising that this whole thing was stupid to be thinking about and probably the result of being alone with no one to talk to for days on days and days.
-Sushi and Japanese curry and beautiful light Japanese beers and loving sitting in restaurants and reading books and enjoying food and being completely on my own, selfish schedule that decides when and where and how I do things and not having to wait for anyone else to finish at a place, or having the feeling that I have to stay for long enough to seem to other people like I've truly appreciated a place
-Slaking my thirst for beauty like some sort of dazed drunkard, rushing from temple to temple and not taking more than half an hour at each because that's as long as I wanted to take, thanks
-Everything is beautiful. Even when its ugly. Feeling like I will break down and cry at the splendor of nature.
-Going into a hot spring and being naked with all of these Japanese ladies, feeling super out of place and trying not to look too much at the naked ladies, but needing to so that I know what the hell the protocol here is, cause the Lonely Planet said some stuff, but I still don't want to do some heinous, offensive, white people thing that will ruin the peace and tranquility of this strange naked people place. Feeling very pink.
I don't know. Maybe that's too much. Maybe it's not enough. I guess it sums up some of it.
And, I have lots and lots of pictures, here they are:
http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Japan%202012/
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Tokyo (The First Day)
My first night in Japan was good. I landed at Narita and managed to find the train station. I took a very futuristic train straight to Shibuya which is the area I am staying in. I walked out of the train station and came to terms with the fact that there was no way I could hope of navigating my way to my hotel from there so I accepted fate and hailed a cab. Thus began the Gong show I will call Talking to Japanese (In English). People are really patient and sweet and they talk to me in Japanese and I talk in English and we both giggle and mime our way through. I feel like an ignorant Westerner, which I am, but at least I kind of know my Asia, so I feel much more prepared for Tokyo at night than I would have a year ago.
Found the hotel, it is very cute. It`s a little boutique hotel and my room is adorable and tiny. The toilet has a permanently heated seat and an automatic flusher and all sorts of bidet functions I dont want to explore for fear of the fact that one of them I think is some sort of enema. I just hope I dont hit the wrong button in a stupour one night and get more than Id bargained for.
I went out exploring Shibuya and it took me a while to find Shibuya crossing, but when I did, holy pants. Its the place you always see int he movies of Japan, with the insane flashing lights and videos blaring commercials and thousands of people crossing the street. It is beautiful and crazy and everything I had hoped it would be.
Some young guy took my hand while I was crossing the street and told me I was very beautiful and that he loved me. I laughed and laughed and showed him pictures of Ben on my phone. I used my translator to say that he doesnt know me so he cant possibly love me but he insisted that I smell good and I am a genius. I think these are some of the only English words he knew. I laughed and laughed and then wandered away while he was on the phone.
I had an awesome Shiatsu massage that was the perfect thing for just having got off a 7 hour plane ride and went home to bed. It is raining a lot here right now so I`m trying to think what to do with myself. I want to see some sumo and the Imperial Palace and do some shopping. Harajuku is supposed to be awesome on Sunday nights so I think I am going to head there tonight. I dont know why Sunday night but I`ll let you know and get back to you.
Essentially, I feel like the other places I`ve travelled in Asia have prepared me in slow steps for Japan. My friend Kelli said that she has felt like Japan is real Asia, like dark, totally different, inaccessible Asia and she`s right in a way. But I think that it all comes together to make sense here.
Coming here on my own in some ways is more scary than it was to go to Singapore because Singaporeans speak English and there was someone there on the other side to meet me. That being said, its one of the most exciting things Ive ever done and Im so glad I have. This is certainly one of those things I will have in my heart, a memory that will last until my inevitable strokes wipe them out.
More to come, also, I would like you all to notice that I have sorted out this Japanese keyboard and that there are no kanji characters at all. I am a goddess of sorting stuff out.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Survival: More Than Just a Play Title
This Friday my Drama students performed their production, Survival. It was based on The Hunger Games and The Lottery and it was my first school production as a teacher rather than a student.
It has been a long journey getting there and a super stressful one at that. We had issues with our trainers, with our script and at times our club's organisation. In the midst of these last weeks of essential preparation I have been an Oral Examiner for the O Level exams, so I have been out of school every afternoon with that.
In spite of everything, the kids did a fantastic job. Last year when we did the Singapore Youth Festival it was fun but there were only judges and teachers in the audience. This was the first time I've seen my students through to the end, with their parents and friends in the audience cheering and slapping. Seeing my students come through and do an awesome job was such a rewarding feeling. I am so proud of them, and just thinking about what they were like last year when I started and what they can do on stage now brings a tear to my eye.
If I ever needed confirmation that I'm doing the right thing by leaving and going to find a job teaching drama, this was it. The high you get from watching your kids on stage and seeing them come through is like nothing else.
I am so exhausted from this week that I just feel like sleeping forever, but I have to go back tomorrow and continue the Oral Exams. The exciting thing is that on Saturday I fly out to Japan for the week and I have just booked my hotels and my flights and everything is set.
I'm super excited about going and seeing a country I have dreamt about since I was a little girl. I will make sure to take loads of pictures and write to you all when I'm back about the crazy stuff I've seen and eaten.
It has been a long journey getting there and a super stressful one at that. We had issues with our trainers, with our script and at times our club's organisation. In the midst of these last weeks of essential preparation I have been an Oral Examiner for the O Level exams, so I have been out of school every afternoon with that.
In spite of everything, the kids did a fantastic job. Last year when we did the Singapore Youth Festival it was fun but there were only judges and teachers in the audience. This was the first time I've seen my students through to the end, with their parents and friends in the audience cheering and slapping. Seeing my students come through and do an awesome job was such a rewarding feeling. I am so proud of them, and just thinking about what they were like last year when I started and what they can do on stage now brings a tear to my eye.
If I ever needed confirmation that I'm doing the right thing by leaving and going to find a job teaching drama, this was it. The high you get from watching your kids on stage and seeing them come through is like nothing else.
I am so exhausted from this week that I just feel like sleeping forever, but I have to go back tomorrow and continue the Oral Exams. The exciting thing is that on Saturday I fly out to Japan for the week and I have just booked my hotels and my flights and everything is set.
I'm super excited about going and seeing a country I have dreamt about since I was a little girl. I will make sure to take loads of pictures and write to you all when I'm back about the crazy stuff I've seen and eaten.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Kuala Lumpur
Hello blog beauties!!
I apologise for the odd lack of punctuation that is sure to be included in this here post, I did the thing where I hit some keys that made the punctuation turn Spanish or something and Im frankly too lazy to suss out how to fix it, so imagine that there is punctuation aplenty on this here post and we ll be all good.
This weekend Kyla, Kelli and I did a small getaway to KL, having not been there before and reckoning that a cheapie trip would be a good plan. Its only about an hours flight from Singapore and I got my flight there for $36 so why not(question mark)
Kyla had planned to go to KL before we said we would come with and she had found a sweet deal on a room at the InterContinental, which by the way, if you are going to KL, you should for sure hit up. The breakfast at that place seriously blew my mind. They had everything delicious you could ever want for breakfast, and then lots of other stuff too. Dim sum, samosas, pancakes, brie, hasbrowns, fresh sqweezed juice, smoked salmon, curry chicken. South East Asia is seriously food heaven, and this breakfast was the epicentre.
We went to check out the Batu Caves, which are seriously amazing and you should go check that out if you are there. There is a beautiful Hindu temple, with the worlds largest statue and biggest Hindu temple outside of India. Also, about 300 steps and a whole lotta monkeys.
We also did the Dark Cave tour which was amazing, we got to go into this huge bat cave and see all sorts of creature (such as terrifying centipedes and cockroaches, now that I think about it, Im not sure why I thought this thing was fun) and it was fascinating.
Some cool things: The trains has ladies-only cars which was an oddly empowering feeling. You are in a train car and its just you and other ladies, no creepos leering at your bodoacious, sweaty, sunburnt Western harlotry, just sisters chillin.
Travelling with lady friends is a fun and cool experience, it is liberating and wonderful. We hung out and watched the Olympics, gawking at the male divers and generally laughing to the point of pain. (At least I worked my abs, to help counteract that breakfast...)
Also, Kelli sleep walks into places like my bed or the window. It is kind of hilarious.
If you want to see some seriously beautiful caves (and asshole monkeys) you can check out my pictures at Photobuck here: http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Facebook/National%20Day%202012%20KL%20Edition/
Next month is going to be Japan, which I have the squees about.
I was feeling all apprehensive about travelling alone and I was all like, I never travelled alone before...until I reminded myself that I got on a plane to bloody Singapore! On my own! Without ever having been to Asia and knowing no one on the other side! And I went to Improv camp in Regina when I was 16, also on my own. So, what exactly was I feeling weird about again (QM)
I will be sure to write lots about my trip to Japan because hotdiggity its going to be awesome. I want to do so many things a week might not be enough but I want to:
-go to the hotsprings
-watch a sumo match (luckily they happen in September)
-see kabuki or noh theatre
-ride the bullet train
-eat my face off
-shop in Harajuku
-visit the teahouses of Gion
-see the Shinjuku lights
-get a shiatsu massage
-buy cool stuff that I wouldnt get anywhere else
I will let you know how many of the super fantastic things on this list I end up doing.
I apologise for the odd lack of punctuation that is sure to be included in this here post, I did the thing where I hit some keys that made the punctuation turn Spanish or something and Im frankly too lazy to suss out how to fix it, so imagine that there is punctuation aplenty on this here post and we ll be all good.
This weekend Kyla, Kelli and I did a small getaway to KL, having not been there before and reckoning that a cheapie trip would be a good plan. Its only about an hours flight from Singapore and I got my flight there for $36 so why not(question mark)
Kyla had planned to go to KL before we said we would come with and she had found a sweet deal on a room at the InterContinental, which by the way, if you are going to KL, you should for sure hit up. The breakfast at that place seriously blew my mind. They had everything delicious you could ever want for breakfast, and then lots of other stuff too. Dim sum, samosas, pancakes, brie, hasbrowns, fresh sqweezed juice, smoked salmon, curry chicken. South East Asia is seriously food heaven, and this breakfast was the epicentre.
We went to check out the Batu Caves, which are seriously amazing and you should go check that out if you are there. There is a beautiful Hindu temple, with the worlds largest statue and biggest Hindu temple outside of India. Also, about 300 steps and a whole lotta monkeys.
We also did the Dark Cave tour which was amazing, we got to go into this huge bat cave and see all sorts of creature (such as terrifying centipedes and cockroaches, now that I think about it, Im not sure why I thought this thing was fun) and it was fascinating.
Some cool things: The trains has ladies-only cars which was an oddly empowering feeling. You are in a train car and its just you and other ladies, no creepos leering at your bodoacious, sweaty, sunburnt Western harlotry, just sisters chillin.
Travelling with lady friends is a fun and cool experience, it is liberating and wonderful. We hung out and watched the Olympics, gawking at the male divers and generally laughing to the point of pain. (At least I worked my abs, to help counteract that breakfast...)
Also, Kelli sleep walks into places like my bed or the window. It is kind of hilarious.
If you want to see some seriously beautiful caves (and asshole monkeys) you can check out my pictures at Photobuck here: http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Facebook/National%20Day%202012%20KL%20Edition/
Next month is going to be Japan, which I have the squees about.
I was feeling all apprehensive about travelling alone and I was all like, I never travelled alone before...until I reminded myself that I got on a plane to bloody Singapore! On my own! Without ever having been to Asia and knowing no one on the other side! And I went to Improv camp in Regina when I was 16, also on my own. So, what exactly was I feeling weird about again (QM)
I will be sure to write lots about my trip to Japan because hotdiggity its going to be awesome. I want to do so many things a week might not be enough but I want to:
-go to the hotsprings
-watch a sumo match (luckily they happen in September)
-see kabuki or noh theatre
-ride the bullet train
-eat my face off
-shop in Harajuku
-visit the teahouses of Gion
-see the Shinjuku lights
-get a shiatsu massage
-buy cool stuff that I wouldnt get anywhere else
I will let you know how many of the super fantastic things on this list I end up doing.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Oh Canada!
I apologise for my recent lack of posts. Also, the insane state of my spelling these days. It's become a hodge podge of British and Canadian and I just frankly don't know how anything is spelled (spelt?) at this point. So bear with me friends!
I haven't posted as a result of a sort of paralysis that set in for a while of indecision. In June my initial contract here ended and I was offered a renewal. I made the choice to renew it, but also give notice that I would finish out the school year. After that, who knew?
I have made the choice to go back to Canada. The great thing about airplanes is that they go more than one way and I think that what I need is to go back to my roots, and the family I call friends, and the people and country that I love so that I can get my head on straight and my shit sorted out.
My end life goal is to be back home, so I figure why not start now.
The thing about Singapore is that life here is incredibly easy. You don't even realise how clean and efficient things are until you go somewhere else and you find yourself horrified at how hard it is to use public transport, or that there is litter on the street.
Life in Singapore is also never changing. That might sound weird for a vibrant, fast paced Asian nation, but it feels true to me. I feel that in many ways I've been in some sort of a dream and it doesn't feel like it's been my real life I've been living. The sun rises and sets at 7 every day, 365 days a year. The sun is almost always out, or it's raining. The temperature doesn't change and it just keeps going. It's wildly safe, and clean and feels like some sort of bubble.
These things are all great. I had a discussion the other day about how my students have no conception of racism. They say horrible things sometimes because they honestly don't really get what oppression is or how terribly it hurts. I feel like if the worst problem we face with our kids is that they don't understand suffering, then Lee Kuan Yew has done one hell of a job.
That being said, the artist in me (not to sound pretentious and all fancy-pantsed, my artistry is some sort of combination of ruminating on the Internet and busting it out on stage) feels as though she has been trapped in stasis. I feel like the person I am in my heart hasn't really had much of a chance to shine here. I miss theatre, live music, Canadian manners and poutine.
I know that going back will be fraught with its own set of challenges and that at some point I will find myself poor, cold and cranky in the dead of winter, cursing the greyness of it all wondering why on earth I left this tropical paradise on the equator. But I guess the reason is soul.
I'm not saying I won't come back, or find my way to another overseas teaching opportunity at some point. My heart still burns for London, but for now, I think the best course of action is to enjoy the time I have left here and to go back home and get my head on straight.
It's funny, but going home feels like the scarier option. What a state we are in that being in home base seems more terrifying than living on the other side of the planet. But it is. I think going back is going to take some balls (or ova, which we all know I have in spades).
Canada. I miss you. I miss my loves, my friends, my family. I miss my country, my streets, my culture. I miss manners, and customer service and art.
In this year and a half, I've had opportunities I could never have dreamed of. I've had grown up income, I've learned how to dress like a woman, appreciate insane fashion, keep my mouth shut (that's a tough one for me by the way), live truly on my own, cope with lonliness, be a real teacher, accept other cultures, cope with 12 hour flights like a boss. I've been motorcycling through Saigon, sunbathing in Hong Kong, swimming in Indonesia, rangering teens in Malaysia, dancing in London, eating in Singapore, exploring in Beijing. I've pushed myself to the limit and found that I can do this. But just because I can, doesn't mean I have to.
I've done myself proud, and I'm eternally grateful for the experiences I've had. And I can't wait to touch down on home soil again and hug the stuffing out of the people who matter most in my life.
I haven't posted as a result of a sort of paralysis that set in for a while of indecision. In June my initial contract here ended and I was offered a renewal. I made the choice to renew it, but also give notice that I would finish out the school year. After that, who knew?
I have made the choice to go back to Canada. The great thing about airplanes is that they go more than one way and I think that what I need is to go back to my roots, and the family I call friends, and the people and country that I love so that I can get my head on straight and my shit sorted out.
My end life goal is to be back home, so I figure why not start now.
The thing about Singapore is that life here is incredibly easy. You don't even realise how clean and efficient things are until you go somewhere else and you find yourself horrified at how hard it is to use public transport, or that there is litter on the street.
Life in Singapore is also never changing. That might sound weird for a vibrant, fast paced Asian nation, but it feels true to me. I feel that in many ways I've been in some sort of a dream and it doesn't feel like it's been my real life I've been living. The sun rises and sets at 7 every day, 365 days a year. The sun is almost always out, or it's raining. The temperature doesn't change and it just keeps going. It's wildly safe, and clean and feels like some sort of bubble.
These things are all great. I had a discussion the other day about how my students have no conception of racism. They say horrible things sometimes because they honestly don't really get what oppression is or how terribly it hurts. I feel like if the worst problem we face with our kids is that they don't understand suffering, then Lee Kuan Yew has done one hell of a job.
That being said, the artist in me (not to sound pretentious and all fancy-pantsed, my artistry is some sort of combination of ruminating on the Internet and busting it out on stage) feels as though she has been trapped in stasis. I feel like the person I am in my heart hasn't really had much of a chance to shine here. I miss theatre, live music, Canadian manners and poutine.
I know that going back will be fraught with its own set of challenges and that at some point I will find myself poor, cold and cranky in the dead of winter, cursing the greyness of it all wondering why on earth I left this tropical paradise on the equator. But I guess the reason is soul.
I'm not saying I won't come back, or find my way to another overseas teaching opportunity at some point. My heart still burns for London, but for now, I think the best course of action is to enjoy the time I have left here and to go back home and get my head on straight.
It's funny, but going home feels like the scarier option. What a state we are in that being in home base seems more terrifying than living on the other side of the planet. But it is. I think going back is going to take some balls (or ova, which we all know I have in spades).
Canada. I miss you. I miss my loves, my friends, my family. I miss my country, my streets, my culture. I miss manners, and customer service and art.
In this year and a half, I've had opportunities I could never have dreamed of. I've had grown up income, I've learned how to dress like a woman, appreciate insane fashion, keep my mouth shut (that's a tough one for me by the way), live truly on my own, cope with lonliness, be a real teacher, accept other cultures, cope with 12 hour flights like a boss. I've been motorcycling through Saigon, sunbathing in Hong Kong, swimming in Indonesia, rangering teens in Malaysia, dancing in London, eating in Singapore, exploring in Beijing. I've pushed myself to the limit and found that I can do this. But just because I can, doesn't mean I have to.
I've done myself proud, and I'm eternally grateful for the experiences I've had. And I can't wait to touch down on home soil again and hug the stuffing out of the people who matter most in my life.
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