Hello dear blog.

It's been a while, and for that I apologise. I've been agonising over the decision about what to do next. This week I got my contract renewal offer for Singapore with a window of only 5 days to decide what to do, so I'm sure you can imagine there has been a lot of angst.

On one hand, a big part of me wants to finally be able to go home. I miss Canada, and my friends and my family. I miss my country and Shopper's Drug Mart and poutine. I have been growing increasingly more fong of the idea of being able to spend a summer at home and to be able to take the plane trip home with Ben in June when his course ends. However, pragmatism has won over idealism. (I know, this doesn't sound much like me.)

Working and teaching in Singapore has been a fantastic opportunity for my first teaching year. If I'd stayed home, I would have spent this year in all likelihood battling it out for supply teaching, or LTOs, and more than likely still working at Starbucks and hating my life.

Instead, I've had the experience of living in Asia, as well as the chance to travel to Hong Kong, Malaysia, China, England and Indonesia as well as of course, Singapore. I've also been able to have a mentor and the benefit of being in the Skilled Teacher program that has taught me so many valuable teaching skills to better my pedagogy and manage my classrooms.

The few things that are really missing for me are of course being home and being able to teach drama. Which is what I started out this whole teaching thing to do in the first place.

That all being said, I know I have mentioned before that I am looking to England to be my next move. However, I don't have a position there yet as the main hiring round for September happens in May.

I've decided to finish out this school year. I don't like starting something and not seeing it through and I've done so much work already with my Drama students for their production this year, and with my form class as well as my subject classes that a part of me would not feel right about leaving.

Also, the idea of leaving a job without having a new one to replace it just seems silly in this economy. I put my hopes on England once before and I was let down, sorely. I'm coming at it again this time with more experience and hopefully more to recommend me for a position as well as the experience of living abroad.

So, it looks like I will be in Singapore until December, unless a wonderful job in England comes my way that starts in September. This means that in June when Ben leaves, I will not be on the plane with him.

It was incredibly hard living here without him before and I think it will be even more painful having had the chance to share 6 months together and then to go back to it.

But, I'm nothing if not strong and I've got some good friends here. I also want to take as many opportunities to travel in Asia as I can with the time that I have left.

I will of course keep you all posted on how things develop. I wish I could be writing some inspiring missive about how I'm going for my dreams and taking a leap, but everyone I talk to who's working in teaching tells me to hold on to any position I have like grim death and I'm inclined to agree with them. Maybe being an adult means having to do things like this, but hey, I have a good job in a great country so I really shouldn't complain about staying for a while longer, right?

Next step, plan a trip to Batam for the weekend again because there's a lovely beach resort I went to with some friends that Ben and I are going to return to for the upcoming long weekend, and plan a trip to Japan for Ben and I before he goes back to Canada in June. At least there's that to look forward to, and really, how many people can say that?

China and Malaysia

This month I had the chance to travel to both China and Malaysia, so I figure I ought to write about both experiences.

First, Ben and I decided to go to China for a few days over my term break because he's wanted to go back since he left and I've always wanted to see China, especially since knowing Ben and hearing him talk about it so passionately. We decided to go to Beijing because I really wanted to see the Great Wall and I figured I saw Stonehenge this year, why not add another Wonder to my list?

We were only able to go for four days, but I think it was good because it made sure that we didn't just spend the whole time sleeping, which honestly is how I would have enjoyed spending my time because the work load here in Singapore for teachers varies from inhumanly psychotic to even more inhuman.

Being in Beijing was a very interesting experience for me and it sort of showed me just how not badass I've been in living in Singapore. Singapore has some of the culture, for sure, but it's simply not as incredibly different as it is in China. The challenge for me in being there was both that I don't speak the language and had to rely on Ben, that the culture is so different that I found it sometimes frustrating and that I had quit smoking two weeks before hand so I was already prone to fits of frustration. All that being said, Ben handled it like a champ and we got the chance to eat some fantastic meals and see some beautiful sights.

We went to the Forbidden City, which was the Emperor's Palace back in the Dynasty days and it is huge and beautiful. March is a bit of a crappy time to go I think because the beauty of the gardens is somewhat lessened by crappy weather. That being said, it's good climbing the Great Wall weather because it's not too hot, I don't want to imagine what that would be like in the sweltering sun.

It was a short trip but I did enjoy it and I'm glad to be able to say that I've been to China. I can't say I completely get what all the fuss is about that Ben is so in love with, partially because the culture and language are so different, but the nice thing is that I do notice my comprehension of Mandarin increases every week with me learning a few new words that I can at least identify while people are talking.

Then it was back to Singapore for about a day and off on a two day, one night learning journey with my students to Malaysia. I found the trip really interesting, we went to plantations to see where crops like rubber, pineapple, rice, palm oil and coffee are grown as well as touring Melaka and learning about this incredibly historic city that has been ruled by the Portuguese, Dutch and English leading to some really interesting combinations of food, culture and architecture.

Now it is back to school and more insane work. My contract ends in June which is starting to be really soon and I am working with a few agencies in the UK on finding a drama teaching job to start either in January or September. Depending on what happens with that I am going to see what I can negotiate with the MOE here in terms of extending my contract to finish out the school year in Singapore, or have to leave when it ends.

Either way, I am fairly certain my next step will be living in England, even if only for a short while. I'm not sure still where Ben will be going but it will probably be Canada or China and I'll have to sort out what I do next with that in mind. However, since I was a young girl I've always wanted to live in England and I think it would be a true disservice to myself if I didn't take up that opportunity now while it's so ripe before I come back home or go for a new adventure somewhere else.

If you want to see my pictures from China and Malaysia, there are in my photobucket account, which you can access here:

http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Facebook/Beijing%202012/

http://s1105.photobucket.com/albums/h343/Bea_Jolley/Facebook/Learning%20Journey%20Malaysia%202012/

Beijing!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, I'm finding with an added two hours every day of commuting due to the location of my new flat that I am more often than not completely exhausted at the end of the day and I barely have time to think let alone post on my blog.

The good thing is that next week is our March holiday, and even though I long ago learned that they don't believe in holidays in Singapore, I managed to get a flight and hotel booked to go to Beijing with Ben for a few days. I'm going to get to see the Great Wall of China and finally see what all the fuss is about with Ben and his love of China.

I'm looking forward to getting away for a few days and to going on holiday with Ben for the first time.

On the job front, things are intense and busy and exhausting. My contract ends in June and I am supposed to hear from the Ministry about a contract renewal offer in April. In the meantime I am exploring drama jobs in high schools in London. I started out the whole overseas teaching thing wanting to go to England so I thought I owe it to myself to continue to look at what options would be possible there. Now that I've been able to actually go to London I know that I would love living there for a year or two so we'll see what happens. I'm also thinking about possibly working in Beijing, my friend Iain is looking at jobs there and Ben might like to go to school in China so that would be a way for us to be together. That being said, I'll see how I like China while I'm there and if I think it is somewhere that I could see myself living.

Ok, I'm going to go continue relaxing and enjoying my Sunday, as I had to work on Saturday and even though Monday is the first day of our "holiday" I have an all day meeting for the English department to attend tomorrow. Oh well, Tuesday morning we leave for China!

Birthday on the Other Side of the World

1: Mom, I don't know if you read my blog, but I just want you to know I think about you a lot and I miss you. I hope that you are well and that your health is good. I hope that the winter hasn't been too cold for you and that I might hear from you sometime. I love you.

2: As some of you may know, my birthday was last week. As a February baby, it's very strange to celebrate your birthday in the sun. And the heat. It honestly didn't really feel like my birthday at all. On the weekend we went and got some Indian food with some of my friends here in Singapore and on Monday my students brought a cake to school which was really sweet of them. Having facebook that students are on, they all knew it was my birthday and I was hearing "happy birthday Ms. Jolley!!!" everywhere I went all week.

The looming question continues to be what do I do next, and I still don't have an answer for you. I know that I like Singapore, I know that I don't like being apart from Ben. I know that I like my job, I know that my job as it is now isn't what I started out wanting to do (teaching drama), I know that there are drama companies I could work with as a trainer, and I know that they also aren't what I'm looking for because I would be working with babies and younger kids. I know that International schools pay well, I also know that most of their hiring fairs were in January and February already.

At my school, people want to know if I'm staying and I can still honestly say I have no idea. I am looking into jobs at international schools, and looking for drama jobs, but I keep seeing mostly english positions, which are still not doing what I want to be doing but that seem like they would be in a more conducive environment to the kind of teaching I like. I know that working at an IB school would be a good next step to develop my resume and get a broader range of experience.

If I had to tell you what my perfect next year would be, it would look like this:

Ben would be in Singapore, or I would be with him in Canada.
I would be teaching drama to an age group I like working with.
I would be making more money than I am now and living somewhere nice and comfortable.

Are all of these things possible? Hopefully, it's just a question of how and what needs to happen to get there. I have options, I can stay with my school until the school year ends, which would take me to November or December, I can finish in June and look for a job that starts in September, I can go home and look for jobs from there or I can stay here and look for jobs from here. Seeing as I have somewhere to live and a way to pay the bills here, here seems like the better idea of those two options.

What I know is that I miss teaching drama like a hole in my heart, and I miss being creative in that way and helping young people to be creative and find their voices. I am still doing a bit of drama here and I am teaching the DEP program at my school, but it's not the same as coming in every day and working with drama as your main subject.

I will keep you all posted as time goes on and options open up. My Dad gave me the good advice that to negotiate a contract I need to be in a position of strength, and that usually comes from having a job. I'm in a much better place here, employed to look for a job than I will be if I go back home and I'm under-employed in Canada and trying to make ends meet. Better to take an opportunity because it speaks to me than because I am desperate. And so I begin.

Also, I am hoping to plan a trip to China in March with Ben, and I'm going to Malacca with my students in March as well, so I will hopefully have some interesting stuff to tell you and pictures to show you all after those two things happen.

For now, I'm super happy to have Ben here with me when I go to sleep at night. That's worth so so much, it's impossible to really explain the difference that makes from 10 months of long distance.

Good Night Tampines, Good Morning Bedok

Ben and I have finally moved to a new flat! Yay!

It was a bit of a pain dealing with agents and finding a flat that had air con, internet and would allow an unmarried couple to live there (sometimes it feels like we're in the dark ages here, I swear...) but we did it!

One interesting story that occurred on the way:

In Singapore you can't just rent out a flat, you have to have an agent who represents you and finds you a flat, and the people who are looking for a new tenant for their flat has to hire an agent to find people to rent it. It's all a very silly system in my mind and it means that you end up paying someone hundreds of dollars that you would really rather have spent on buying shiny IKEA things for said new flat, but when in Rome.

So, we found this possible new flat and went to sign the papers. The agent representing the landlords of this flat was a total knob. Super rude, really standoffish and trying to constantly insinuate that our agent was incapable of doing her job (by the way, our agent was my roommate from my previous flat). It got to the point where he was arguing with my agent about some silly paper that the landlord needed to sign for her company and everyone started yelling in Chinese.

This is the part where having a boyfriend who speaks Chinese comes in handy. The agent was interrupting me at one point and that was when shit got real. Ben started yelling at him in Chinese, which I don't speak but I understand enough of to know that he was telling the guy that he speaks Chinese too and that he understood what was happening and that this guy was being a dick essentially. Super hot. Ben FTW.

At the end of it all, we've found a really nice flat in Bedok. We are sharing a flat with an older Chinese married couple and they seem like just the nicest people you could ever meet. The wife made us food a few times already and the husband has been showing us how to use everything and where all of the circuit breakers are and such, and all of the books on their shelves are things like "Living a Life of Happiness" and "The Way of Happiness" or stuff like that. There is also a really neat Buddha shrine. I feel like living with a peaceful couple who are interested in finding happiness and cooking with you is pretty damn nice.

The frustrating part is that now I have to get up way earlier in the morning to get the bus and MRT to school and now I have no idea what buses to take from all of my usual places in Singapore so it's a whole new learning journey of getting lost and confused to find my way around again. On the brightside, all of that is a lot easier to do when you have a partner in being lost. Also, an iPhone.

Just to add some stuff to the delirious writing of yesterday:

Having Ben here with me in Singapore is awesome. The feeling of content and happiness I have when I come home from school is hard to even explain. To go from 9 months of long distance, co-ordinating phone calls across time differences, feeling alone, trying to relate to each other's very different life experiences to having someone here with you, sharing dinner together and telling each other about our respective days at school is like going from having a large knife in your arm to being massaged.

Also, going from entering a totally foreign school system in the middle of the year where everyone speaks differently and there is an acronym for everything to starting a fresh school year with colleagues and students that you know and a system you now understand is a similar experience.

In short, my life quality is improving drastically. Add to that my end of year bonus still in my account and the security of knowing you have enough money for whatever you might need, even if it were an emergency flight home and I'm a pretty happy lady these days.

Sure, I'm exhausted, but that's just this week. I'm really looking forward to the next 6 months and the challenges and treats that lie ahead for Ben and I.

Ask me what's happening in June, and I've got no clue, but for now, I'm fairly happy.

:)

AH! Start of the School Year!

I'm sorry I haven't been updating much but that is largely due to the fact that I am running around madly working as well as adjusting to having Ben living with me and finding a new flat for the two of us so I just haven't had much time.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind as the school year starts again and I get my head around my new students, new classes, new routines and living with someone when I've been living alone for the last 9 months in a sad little bedroom with some older ladies.

I am implementing lots of routines and things with my students this year because this is my first start of a school year with classes all my own so I'm testing things out to see if they work. This process is good but also exhausting because it creates a lot of work in the process of trying to ultimately cut down on the work that I have to do chasing kids around.

It's also exhausting because you are getting to meet all of your students, all 200 or so of them, little people who you don't know yet but you will spend lots and lots of time with, all with names that are hard to pronounce and special things about them that you want to get to know and learn so that you can be a better teacher to them. It's exciting, and interesting, and often funny because of the questions they ask, but also exhausting.

Add to that adjusting to sharing my life with Ben who is living here now and sorting out our own routines and ways of sharing space (we are both only children...so it's not always the easiest thing) and you have a zombie in the shape of a teacher. Despite all of that, one of my students wrote that today he learned that Ms. Jolley is hyper. Awesome :)

I've got this new thing I hand out where my kids write what they are wondering about, what they learned and what they are struggling with for every class. Some of my favorite things so far are:

I am wondering if the universe is infinite? (The next class) I am still wondering if it is infinite?
I am wondering when I am going to die :) (smiley face not mine....:S)
I am wondering if all of the grown ups have facebook?
I am struggling with Chinese. It is hard to learn.
I am wondering is Ms. Jolley likes Justin Bieber.
I am wondering why she came from Canada?
I am wondering how much water Ms. Jolley is going to drink today. (I had a flu and a cough so I was drinking a lot of water that day)

Also, I have given a few classes the chance to ask me whatever questions that they want, these are some highlights:

Why is your hair that weird colour?
Are you married?
How old are you?
Is it cold in Canada?
Why did you come here?
What books do you like?

My kids are adorable. My sec 1 students are 12, so they are precocious and hyper and fun to teach.

Also, Ben and I found a new flat that has a room that is much bigger, we move in a week or two. I am really looking forward to that!

My brain has stalled, so I am going to sign off for now. I just thought you'd all like to know I'm not dead, just super super busy.